4 starsFreeReviews

‘Storm the Train’ Review – Mayhem, Murder and Endless Trains

TouchArcade Rating:

Down for a little mindless self-indulgence? Want it on the cheap? If so, you might want to take a look at Chillingo’s Storm the Train (Free). It has everything an endless action fan could want: guns, trains, gorey deaths, trains, and a huge list of upgrades. Also: trains. And, oddly enough, the ability to go left. Your ultimate goal is to go from train to train murdering everything that moves, but there’s nothing wrong with taking the occasional short detour backwards. Crazy idea, eh?

Even better, it’s one of those free games that arrives without hand firmly in wallet. I’m still digging through the first of three extremely long lists of upgrades, but I’ve never felt like putting cash down on the procedure. Everything comes in time, be it health upgrades, fancy new clothes or drones that can take off an enemy’s head at a dozen paces. The trains, at least, don’t require upgrading. The trains are great right from the start.

I began my train-storming career with Carrera, the plucky lady of the crew. She starts out with a bit less health than her compatriots, but it’s worth the sacrifice: girlfriend is fast. Everyone has their tradeoffs. Carrera and I have killed thousands of robots, zombies and ninjas, run through thousands of gold in upgrades, and never gotten tired. Now I’m sticking with her whether I’d like to or not: each of the three playable characters has a unique list of upgrades, and starting fresh doesn’t sound too great now that I’m finally feeling properly powerful.

Now, I’m more than comfortable sitting in front of this game and playing mindlessly, maybe watching a show in the background at the same time. But that’s definitely Storm the Train’s biggest issue: it doesn’t demand much attention at all. Run, shoot, jump, shoot some more. Collect coins, open weapon crates. Jump from train to train. That’s the gist of it.

There are a few moments that are a bit more engaging, though. Every so often you’ll run into a point of interest as you race to the front of a given train. Most common is the jumping-off point to the next ride on the rails. There are also boss fights, hostage rescues, jetpack rides, and a rad little thing called the Cylindrical Death Machine. The boss fights take focus, though mostly only of the jumping-back-and-forth-as-necessary sort. The vehicles are a bit trickier. Some mysterious force really doesn’t want you to take any shortcuts, so every time you ride a vehicle you’re constantly pelted by missiles. If you’re distracted it’ll get messy fast.

All throughout your running and gunning, you build up a meter the game calls Mayhem. Every time the mayhem meter fills, you get a free shot of something from your list of gadgets and power-ups. This might bring out a drone to keep you company, stick you in a mech suit or swap your hero out for one of the others (handy when your health is low). You can also drop a handful of change to pull these out freely at any point. Similarly, when you die you’re given one chance to continue for relatively cheaply.

Balancing your budget is pretty much the only strategy the game requires, but at least it’s not a hassle. The flow of coins is steady, and the drain on them is endless. As long as you keep yourself in continues you’ll be doing okay. You can also do the usual purchase-pack thing. Speaking of the usual, Storm the Train also has a hefty mission system, three at a time, with upgrades tied into the stars you earn.

There’s nothing deep about this game, aside from the rabbit hole of upgrades you can go for. I’m not knocking it, though. As mindless games go, this one hits the perfect balance between easy enough to play without much attention and hard enough that it’s not actually mind-numbing. Not bad. It’s not quite where it needs to be to really sink its hooks in, though, with only a few trains to run down and enemies to take out, only a few challenges to experience. Still, the foundations are good, with fun goals, solid controls and a compellingly train-filled experience. Storm the Train gets a lot of things right—if it keeps going on this track, it’ll be a great little run-and-gunner in no time at all.

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  • 33 Comments

    1. iarepan

      The obsidian tower that forms over your reactor after you port back is rather weird.

    2. bigred447uk

      You can get the reactor back which is nice. I need a bit more gold to get my second attempt going. I'm not keen on how my tiny world is going to get covered in ugly obsidian towers. I intend to try and decorate them rather than clear them up though. It's just too much work to consider clearing them up.

    3. bigred447uk

      Destroying pictures with my diamond pick sometimes glitches and gives me two back for one. Time to start a scale model of the Louvre in survival !

    4. MrSpud

      I want caves!!

    5. V!3T

      Go in creative mode and you can dig beyond bedrock :) But you'll just fall down and die eventually :S Fun though!

      1. tim240

        Dig under lava or water and look up as it goes down to the center of your little world!

    6. ducksFANjason

      The pocket version is getting pretty damn cool now! The only thing it really needs now is larger worlds and caves and I'd be completely happy.

      1. drelbs

        Same here.

      2. ICeR360

        Yeah

      3. Rowan Ainsbury

        Caves exist, try bestseedintheworld

    7. deadfolk

      Sounds good. The tiny worlds are the only thing putting me off actually playing this now.

    8. MrSHakerEsq

      Waiting for larger worlds and caves. Then I'll buy.

    9. Tomate Diseño

      You think Mushrooms are bad? You'd love a trip around some of the back alley taco stands we've got. Bits that don't make it into dog food are considered gourmet.

    10. JacksonTysonJordanGameSix

      Somebody please respond. 1. Can you enter the Nether in Creative? 2. Do you have to make a 20 block portal like in the other two versions?

      1. Th3R3n3gad3

        No and no

    11. 1DCrazyCarrot

      I can't seem to get any zombie pigment in my game.. Any tips at all?

      1. Bloko

        It's not "pigment", it's "pigmen". Pig men.

        1. ICeR360

          Bloko is right no wonder u don't have zombie pigment

    12. Charles Albert

      it plays faster on my ipod touch 3 than on my Intel i5 PC.

      goddamn java.

    13. Terwilke

      Caves!!!!!!!! We need them and dungeons and Enderman

    14. Matthew Gile

      I struggle with the controls. The jump button is inside the d-pad; to run-and-jump requires me to put both thumb on the left side of the screen. Also the "touch" to action is difficult, a simple fixed action button would work better.

      1. PonyFeathers

        You can swipe your finger from whatever direction to the middle to jump, and you can tweak the controls to act more like twin sticks.

    15. TheSwordKid

      Gah! Glowstone, not "glowstones"! Ah well, I guess it doesn't make much of a difference anyway. I couldn't stop myself from correcting, being a long-time Minecraft PC and Pocket Edition player. :P

    16. matthew barrett

      i want wolves

    17. yocdub

      It needs Game Center online and bigger world and bosses like ender dragon with

      1. yocdub

        And also caves

    18. kuly113114

      Well, now i need easier way to join the [ multiplayer server ] <----- importain thing

    19. Zoe

      Minecraft is so cool it just needs

      Fishing poles
      Fish
      Pumpkins
      Wolves
      Signs
      Buckets
      Animals on creative
      Spawn eggs
      And so you can change your skins on the iPods

    20. Kenneth

      They need dungeons

    21. Ibagas

      I wish the new update
      Came out
      I need a flatland

    22. Caleb Melvin

      Love the game, but it needs the bucket to carry water and lava to improve the gameplay.

    23. Vbruma

      Buckets

    24. cupcaketales21

      I want wolves in the next update 0.7.4 and endermans :(