Don’t get me wrong, I love groaning at the crazy things developers submit to the App Store just as much as the next guy, but every so often games come along that would be all too easy easy to instantly dismiss as junk which actually are not only worth a look, but also have lived long lives on my iPhone. So anyway, here are three incredibly silly games which I’ve managed to derive an odd amount of enjoyment out of, in order of best to absolute worst. I can’t really throw the official TouchArcade recommendation behind any of them, but if you like having games on your phone that make you wonder, “Why does this exist?", here is a good place to start:
Frank Further, $1.99 – The sequel to Hot Dog Down a Hallway [Free], this game features similar gameplay to most cannon games in that you control the angle and power of the cannon, then tilt to control whatever object you’re shooting. There’s a zillion games that use this mechanic between free Flash games and oodles of similar titles on the App Store. Frank Further is basically the same as Hot Dog Down a Hallway, except it has three different skins:
Remix, which uses a similar graphical style to the original Hot Dog Down a Hallway, Retro, which features awesome old school pixel art and obstacles from Pitfall, Super Mario Brothers, and Adventure, and finally Clay, inspired by claymation. Frank Further comes loaded with OpenFeint for high scores as well as achievements, and there’s even a vegetarian mode if you’re not in to grinding up pigs.
Vuvuzela vs Zombies, Free – This game combines pretty much everything wrong with the App Store currently in to one game. The only thing it’s missing is some kind of fart mode or amazing amounts of DLC. Playing off recent trends of endless vuvuzela apps following the World Cup, the incessant need for iPhone developers to include zombies in to absolutely everything, and obnoxious constantly rotating AdMob ads, Vuvuzela vs Zombies is absolutely terrible.
But, because this game is so terrible, I can’t help but laugh at it. They’ve turned the incredibly annoying vuvuzela in to a weapon to blow the heads off of legions of undead, ferocious dogs, and birds, which somehow give you unlimited breath to go on a vuvuzela tootin’ frenzy. It’s also completely free, so even though the novelty will likely wear off quickly, it won’t cost you anything except the few seconds of time it takes to download.
Ow My Balls!, 99¢ – I’ve been looking for an excuse to post about this game since I first discovered it over a year ago. Since then, it’s been downloaded over a million times and even featured in the Los Angeles Times. Inspired by the movie Idiocracy, Ow My Balls! begins with kicking “Joe the Juggler" off the roof of a building, at which point you rack his balls on as many obstacles as possible, tilting to control, and tapping to fart which briefly sends you shooting back up in the air.
If you’re able to make it all the way to the end of Ow My Balls!, there is a surprise in store which I absolutely refuse to spoil. Each ball-busting attempt ends with a set of groans, and you can even record your own if you have a device with a microphone. Also, I’m quoted in the iTunes description as describing Ow My Balls! as the “Citizen Kane of iPhone gaming," which is statement I will stand behind completely.