This was posted on April Fool's day

We've often received criticism from readers that they're tired of paying too little for games on the App Store. When you own a piece of premium electronics like the iPhone, the iPod touch, or even the iPad, scrubbing around for price drop alerts and freebie Fridays just seems so... passé. If you consider yourself among the App Store elite, consider playing these games which bring new meaning to the phrase "premium pricing" whilst sunning yourself on your yacht this weekend:

Buddy Repperton Gold, $49.99 - Why simply play a sports game when you can bet real world money on them instead? Well, with the help of Buddy Reperton you're going to be getting the hottest, most elite, premium sports picks in the land.

Crossword Pro Service Update, $99.99 - The developers warn that this hundred dollar version of Crossword Pro [$6.99] is just an update to an existing app, but we all know that isn't true. Why restrict yourself to the crossword game of the proles when you can opt to spend substantially more money on a better, premium game experience?

Happyville, $19.99 - When you're among the financial elite, playing free farming games like Farmville, We Rule and others is just beneath you. Flop out a benjamin for the ultimate in iOS farming. Does Farmville have elephants, dragons, and other mythical beasts? ...I don't know, probably, actually.

Hot Farm, $69.99 - Shockingly similar to Happyville, Hot Farm provides a somewhat similar farming experience, but at the discounted price of $69.99 instead of the standard $99.99 of Happyville. Still premium, but for the conservative high roller we recommend giving this one a shot.

Smurfs' Village, Free - While at first glance this might just seem like a free app that you'd typically avoid, looking for something with a little more status to it, you would be making a grave mistake. You see, there is no limit to how much money you can spend on Smurfs' Village and Capcom even made it conducive to the discerning high roller by offering a $99.99 bundle of IAP Smurfberries. Better yet, there's no limit to how many of these bundles you can buy.

  • YoureAMessy

    Yes, we get it, Toucharcade. It's April Fools Day.

  • Guest

    Isn't April fools supposed to end at Midday?

    • Tenaciousdave83

      Apparently we confused Touch Arcade with people over the age of ten.

    • Jezz Torrent

      Only in some parts of the world. In others, including the Unites States, it is an all-day affair.

  • Sidney Just

    Aww shut up guys, I like the posts. If you don't like 'em or think that they betray you of your content for that you came here, just don't read it. If you think that the guys here owe you anything for whatever reason, just get a reality check. Thanks.

  • Jim

    I have Hot Farm. There was a time it was free.

  • David Schutz

    it's just for a day. yeah, it's starting to grate on me a little bit too. know what i'm going to do about it? ignore Touch Arcade today and come back tomorrow. see? easy.

    oh, and by the way, those are real prices on real apps. the developers probably inflated their prices today as a joke.

  • Jim

    No, those are the regular prices. AppShopper confirms it.

  • Whitish

    Holy shit, I am honestly done reading this site. You guys are fucking children.

    • Email


    • Sk8eur_199

      being a boring nosense of humor adult is better?

  • freedog

    Just sold my car for Buddy Raperton, thanks for the heads up guys!

  • Guest

    Why are people taking this so seriously? I enjoyed reading it, but I'm shocked that people are insulting the writers because they chose to write something a little less serious than their usual app reviews. To the writers: don't take this hate seriously, they're clearly very upset about something and taking it out on honest people working hard on something that brings them very little (if any) money.

  • No

    I am MORTIFIED at the prospect that with two imaginary button presses I could be out 400 dollars.

  • Marty

    Is anyone else as freaked out by the fact that Hot Farm's website is <--- Don't click I have no idea where this takes you.

  • Anonymous

     Cheap Uggs UK