Hello everyone, and welcome to the week! It’s time once again for our look back at the noteworthy updates of the last seven days. Some of my old favorites swung back around this week, and I found so many fun ones that I even skipped on the obligatory free-to-play matching puzzle update. We still have a matching puzzle update, though. I’m not completely uncouth, after all. Of course, you can keep an eye out for updates yourself by participating in the TouchArcade forums. This weekly summary is just here to fill you in on the things you might have missed. Let’s go for it!
Jetpack Joyride, Free Jetpack Joyride can’t stop and won’t stop. Nothing we mortals can do will get in the way of its march of themed updates and collaborations. Like Barry Steakfries, we are powerless to do anything but move forward until we are taken out by a stray missile or laser. Uh, this update features pirates. Collect Golden Skulls to unlock some cool rewards, and marvel at the piratey goodness of things like the Davey B Jones costume, the Treasure Chest jetpack, and the Corsair Cannon vehicle. Maybe a ninja update next for balance? Are we still pitting those two against each other?
Dan The Man Platformer, Free Dan the Man also has a new update, and it has some interesting new goodies in it. Apparently it’s a whole time travel/fantasy theme going on here, with the new Golden Knight event that sees you landing in a fantasy world of dragons and magic. There are some new battle arena designs and new special level missions to complete, a new Golden Knight suit to unlock, and some new event emotes and icons. That’s fairly substantial as Dan the Man updates go, so have at it.
Fighting Fantasy Classics, Free Hey, it’s been a minute since I’ve looked in on this one. If you don’t remember what this is all about, it’s basically a hub where you can buy and play a selection of Fighting Fantasy gamebooks. This update adds a new gamebook, Ian Livingstone’s Temple of Terror. You can buy it as an IAP for $3.99. This was originally the 14th book in the series, and sees you searching a lost city for artifacts at the behest of Yaztromo. Unless I miss my guess, this one wasn’t adapted by Tin Man before now. Like most of Livingstone’s adventures it’s a very tough one, but this is a great way to see what it’s all about.
Cozy Grove, Cozy Grove just got a big update a couple of weeks back, and here it is again. It’s a whole pile of little things that add up to a hefty load of good stuff to check out. Lots of quality of life things, like being able to feed animals directly from your tent storage, double stack sizes for various materials, and reducing the number of mushrooms you need to make mushroom salads. That kind of thing. Lots of bug fixes, a few UI tweaks, you know how it goes. Spry Fox is really on the ball with this game, and I’m excited to see how it grows and improves in the future.
Dungeons of Chaos REVAMPED ED., $5.99 Yay, Dungeons of Chaos got a new update. The last time this got updated was in 2019, in what we like to call the Before Times. Anyway, this version has 64-bit support, which is a very big thing. It also adds some new challenges and achievements to try. That includes some fixed party challenges, and four new arena challenges with some sweet rewards. I’m going to take this as an excuse to play this fine RPG again. You should, too.
Marvel Contest of Champions, Free I wonder how long the developers have been sitting on that Black Widow-themed icon? Probably more than a year. The latest update oddly seems to have very little to do with the new movie, instead leaning into some stuff with America Chavez and Hercules in a new event called Starfall. There’s a new Summoner Showdown kicking off today for higher level players to join, with some excellent rewards for those who come out on top. Some improvements have also been made, and Ronin, Diablo, and Bishop have gotten some adjustments for balance purposes. But no Spider-Mans, so no award for you!
MARVEL Strike Force: Squad RPG, Free Perhaps we will find some Spider-Mans here if we look hard enough. There are three new playable characters here, including Sam Wilson’s Captain America (not Spider-Man), Sharon Carter (not Spider-Man), and Maria Hill (probably not Spider-Man). Some new costumes in the form of Gamora’s Requiem look, Daredevil’s Shadowland suit, Luke Cage’s Power Man get-up, and Captain America’s Classic threads. I think you’ll find none of those are Spider-Man either. You can now modify purchased costumes to an extent, which I suppose might apply to some Spider-Man related stuff, and there are some new events to play. None of them seem to involve Spider-Man. A bunch of bug fixes, but spiders are arachnids, not bugs. Well, what can we do? There just isn’t much Spider-Man here. Let’s keep going.
Disney Heroes: Battle Mode, Free I mean, Disney does own Spider-Man. It’s technically possible he could show up in this game. The only way to be sure is to check this update carefully. It includes one new playable character, Shego from Kim Possible. Okay, she’s awesome. Not really Spider-Man, but I like her moxy. The other new thing here is the ability to filter Heroes, presumably to make them easier to organize. Add in some bug fixes and improvements, and that’s it. Dang. What does a guy have to do to get some pictures of Spider-Man here?
Grindstone, I think we can safely assume that Grindstone isn’t going to help us with our Spider-Man problem. But that’s okay, with zero expectations comes the sort of refreshing freedom that can only come from accepting grim reality. The grim reality of this update is that there are new weekly challenges where you can earn hats. Wait, that’s not grim at all! That’s actually positively fantastic! Hats, friends. How are we not tired of hats yet? Why am I still excited when I unlock a hat in a video game? It’s preposterous, and it absolutely works. Now, go out and get those new hats.
WHAT THE GOLF?, Well, this is it. The proverbial monster at the end of the book, and I still haven’t given out that most coveted of awards for the week. This had better be a good one, or Jared is going to fire me for sure. What do you have for me, What the Golf?? Wait… a whole new campaign? More than 50 new levels of zany golf to play? This is perfect! Friends, we may not have found Spider-Mans, but we sure found our UMMSotW award winner. If you have Apple Arcade, make sure you give this one a go. It’s absurd, funny, and highly enjoyable. These new holes just make it even better.
That about wraps it up for last week’s significant updates. I’m sure I’ve missed some, though, so please feel free to comment below and let everyone know if you think something should be mentioned. As usual, major updates will likely get their own news stories throughout this week, and I’ll be back next Monday to summarize and fill in the blanks. Have a great week!
