Hello everyone, and welcome to the week! It’s time once again for our look back at the noteworthy updates of the last seven days. Confession time: I wrote this yesterday due to some pressing business, so it might be missing anything exciting that hit in the last 24 hours. Hopefully that doesn’t include anything too big! Of course, you can keep an eye out for updates yourself using AppShopper Social (Free), the watchlist in the TouchArcade App (Free), or by participating in the TouchArcade forums, but this weekly summary is here to fill in the things you might have missed. Let’s dig in!
868-HACK, $7.99 Okay, look. The notes for this one aren’t going to make much sense if you haven’t played this game. On the other hand, it’s kind of weird to be reading update notes for a game you haven’t played, so maybe I don’t need to worry. Let’s lead with the thing we can all agree on: the game is now 64-bit compatible and that is a good thing. The rest of the changes involve balance tuning on certain abilities, along with a couple of fixed bugs and some small tweaks. If you want to know more about those balance changes, you should go read Michael Brough’s blog. He details them and even explains why he did them, which I think is a lovely thing for a developer to do.
Rick and Morty: Pocket Mortys, Free Did everyone enjoy that first episode of the new season of Rick and Morty? Let me tell you a secret. The villainous Carter Dotson had his birthday recently, and he used up all of his birthday wish mojo to make that episode happen. That’s a scientific fact, friends. Which means even a villain can sometimes have a heart, and if that’s not a beautiful message, then Pocket Mortys didn’t get an update with four new Mortys, 15 new Ricks, and some other fixes. Which it did, so there.
Thumb Drift - Furious Racing, Free Doot do doo doot doo do-do dooo, Daytoooooooooooonaaaaaa! Hm, I wonder if this game got an official sub-license for that particular brand? Just in case, let’s just say that the new Daytona Coin Frenzy mode is clearly named after the beach and nothing else. You can race in this mode once a day to rack up some cash. There are also a bunch of new guest cars to collect. Fly sky high, friends, but not so high that the legal eagles can spot you.
Crossy Road, Free I find I hit a point with every frequently-updated collect-a-thon where I’m not even playing the game because I like playing it anymore, but rather just because I want to collect the new goodies. I mean, it’s a fine enough goal in itself, I suppose. Pretty much the point of many a game from the 1990s. It’s just that it never really ends with these modern takes? Apropos of nothing, Crossy Road has 11 new figurines to collect in its new Savannah update. Apropos. Of. Nothing.
Love You To Bits, $3.99 This is a cute game with a lot of heart, but the first time I saw the title I thought of something that kind of ruined it for me forever. There’s this really great getting-kinda-old-now show called Clone High, right? Anyway, there was this one episode where the principal of the school is getting into Looney Tunes-esque violent scenarios at the hands of a skunk who always shouted out a semi-vulgar catch phrase every time he got him with something. And this game’s title, for a flash-second only, reminded me of that catch-phrase, and now I hear the skunk saying it every time, and it’s all ruined. This update contains some new levels that end the story of this adorable little game that in no way deserves to be associated with that ill-mannered skunk or his crabby friend.
Super Stickman Golf 3, Free It’s all coming unglued again, isn’t it? We’re having a lovely time looking through some updates that everyone worked very hard on, and Shaun goes off on a barely-relevant reference and suddenly you’ve got ten Google windows open with searches for obscure Canadian cartoons. And it’s like, what if you’re here just to find out what’s new in Super Stickman Golf 3? You’ve got work to do and this guy is going on about Bert, Ralph, and Melissa and their attempts to stop the cigar-chomping Cyril Sneer from destroying their habitat. How is that in any way connected to this game getting three new downloadable courses to celebrate the Masters? Or the fact that you can now select Crazy Game modes in Practice mode? Nothing. It’s a reference for a reference’s sake, and I for one am not standing up for it. Or sitting down on it. Whatever.
The Sandbox Evolution, Free Wait, what? Friends, this one isn’t my fault. The Sandbox Evolution is having an honest-to-goodness tie-up with a franchise that hasn’t seen play since the Nintendo DS was king. Pick up this $2.99 DLC and you’ll get access to Shrek, Donkey, Puss in Boots, the Duloc Knight, Shrek’s Hut, the Poison Apple Tavern, the Gingerbread Man, and more. One quick stop at iTunes to pick up some Smash Mouth tunes and you’re ready to recreate everyone’s favorite house guest who just didn’t know when to leave. I’m giving this game the coveted UMMSMotW award just because I think that one line in All-Star is pretty clever.
Shooty Skies, Free Oh, you’re just going to get ahead and try to top Shrek, then? Well alright, Shooty Skies, let’s see what you’ve got. 10 new pilots, themed around … rock star cats? I’m…I’m kind of in awe, here. Metallicat? That’s a Spider-Ham worthy pun! Well, there you go. New pilots, a new boss, some new enemies, a new venue, and of course, new music. Whether you like the game or not, you have to give the developers props for doing what no one else had the courage to this week: imagining over-the-hill musicians as anthropomorphic cats.
Order & Chaos Online, Free That about wraps it up for this week’s signi- hunh? Oh, we still have a couple more left. Well, alright. Order & Chaos Online is still getting updates, which is pretty impressive in and of itself. There are some new Protector powers, some new PVP gear, a new dungeon to plumb with a new world boss to go with it, and of course, some wacky Easter stuff. Plus, cherry blossoms! Go pretend to hang out under some pretend trees with your friends and drink some real beer. Please drink responsibly and do not under any circumstances keep drinking until you can actually see cherry blossoms in front of your eyes.
Hearthstone, Free Mmm. So, I kind of hate extraneous apostrophes. As a long-time fan of the fantasy genre, I’ve seen way too many of them, and I just can’t abide them, generally. I am trying to bite my tongue a little here. But only a little, because I’m clearly writing about this? Anyway, The Journey to Un-EXTRANEOUSAPOSTROPHE-Goro kicked off last week, giving you all sorts of new challenges to conquer and cards to collect. This has had a devastating effect on the Pi’ggybanks of many Touch’Arcade staffers, as they have purchased p’ack after p’ack trying to get some hot new ca’rds. E’li Hod’app has had the worst luck so far, which should please a few an’gry com’menters, I’m sure.
That about wraps it up for last week’s significant updates. I’m sure I’ve missed some, though, so please feel free to comment below and let everyone know if you think something should be mentioned. As usual, major updates will likely get their own news stories throughout this week, and I’ll be back next Monday to summarize and fill in the blanks. Have a great week!
