Finally finished reading the entire thread, and I do believe that this app should help everybody out: App info is currently processing and/or the app is not yet fully available for sale on the US App Store.
Wow, that's amazing. An app that can tell me, based on how much I drink, if my body is absorbing what I drink? Sweet! Now I don't have to spend each day comparing the volume that I drink with the volume that I pee! My wife will be so relieved...