The best angry/mean comments you have received from iTunes reviewers

Discussion in 'Public Game Developers Forum' started by Johannvonstranovic, May 23, 2010.

  1. I enjoy the people who complain about the controls in my game, even 2 releases after I added a bunch more control schemes.

    Look in the options menu people!
     
  2. CommanderData

    CommanderData Well-Known Member
    Patreon Indie

    I wasn't going to post in this thread, but figured what the hell...
    Here's a really good one for Rogue Touch that made me angry when I first read it a year ago:

    Looking back the "review" that Patsfan11113 wrote I find it ridiculously funny for 2 reasons

    1) The guy has no understanding of roguelikes and permadeath. The game autosaves on exit, and you can resume when you open. Roguelikes are not about saving and reloading your save every time you die until you win, the act of trying to do this on a PC is called "save-scumming" and is considered a form of cheating.

    2) The whole last paragraph. He thinks that one review caused my star rating to go down a point and my ranking to drop (I was the #1 RPG last year in April, when featured by Apple and on sale for 99 cents). The thing he doesn't get is the whole 99 cent 1-star brigade caused my rating to drop, before the sale I was nearly 5 stars. The ranking slipped because I ended the sale the next day after his review posted.

    I laugh about it now... the idiot was tracking my rank and rating, and goes back into iTunes two days later and UPDATES his review with some sort of smug arrogance like he's the hand of god for the app store.

    Patsfan11113 probably sits around perusing the top 100 charts now thinking he has the power to make or break any game's rating or ranking on the charts with his incredible review powers. What a jerk :D
     
  3. TheSporkWithin

    TheSporkWithin Well-Known Member

    Jan 16, 2010
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    College student, studying English/Japanese lit.
    That is hilarious, CommanderData. The postscript is just too much!
     
  4. NJ Software

    NJ Software Member

    Sep 26, 2009
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    iPhone app developer
    CommanderData, that review gave me a good laugh.

    We have so many reviews that would fit in this category, it's hard to pick. One that sticks out in my mind is a user that reviewed Backgammon NJ in the first month of its release. He accused the app of cheating and then went on to say that we were so bad and had no understanding of backgammon that we must have "bought the code". It was hugely insulting. But miraculously, a couple weeks later, that same user realized the app didn't cheat and changed his review from 1 to 5 stars. :eek: He completely changed the text of the review without a mention of what he had posted before. I wish I had saved the text of that old review just for kicks.
     
  5. Venan

    Venan Well-Known Member

    Jan 13, 2010
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    Well, there are always a host of completely ridiculous 1 star reviews written by barely literate kids, but this one actually annoyed the heck out of me (and it's 3 stars no less). This was for our Space Miner Demo...

    Wow... But $5?!
    by Sophie26773389: on May 21, 2010 1.2.2
    Great game but five dollars for a no-name iPhone game is ridiculous. Gameloft and square enix can get away with that, not these nobodys. Drop it to a dollar or two like it should be, it's just asteroids with upgrades, you didn't just invent starcraft or something

    Where does one even begin...
     
  6. Sinecure Industries

    Sinecure Industries Well-Known Member

    Backlash 1.0 was not without its issues (1.1 was way better and 1.2 is improving upon that, it's "waiting for review" now :p)

    This one guy though, well, apparently it upset him greatly

    I was curious about this guy and looked at what else he reviews, he gave a whole ton of games the same sort of rating/review. What a Negative Nancy.

    The most "wtf" review was for How Am I Feeling?

    ...me too.
     
  7. jak56

    jak56 Well-Known Member

    you could begin by commenting on how many console games you've developed?

    and then how about going to how stupid they are to themselves believe that big names deserve big price tags?
    :p
     
  8. Nitzan

    Nitzan Well-Known Member

    Nov 10, 2008
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    Kind of a silly question, but how did you guys copy/paste the review text? I assume there is a way to see all the reviews outside of iTunes in a format that can be copied?
     
  9. eJayStudios

    eJayStudios Well-Known Member

    Oct 17, 2009
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    Space Miner is one of the better games on the iPhone. I think Apple should ban those stupid ratings and comments altogether.
     
  10. Venan

    Venan Well-Known Member

    Jan 13, 2010
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    I use AppFigures and I cut/paste it from there. You can also use appcomments.com which is free. Appcomments is cool because you can click on someone's name and get easy access to all the reviews they've written.
     
  11. schplurg

    schplurg Well-Known Member

    #31 schplurg, May 25, 2010
    Last edited: May 25, 2010
    Not alll that crazy but...

    1. Has potential, but seriously.. Fix this now or you guys are dicks..

    2. The developer should have stuck with his day job at Arby's


    3. could not get game to transfer from lptop to ipod.... ???
    [he left a 1 star review...wtf?]

    4. I think the people who have reviewed this game as 4/5 or 5/5 stars are connected to the developer somehow. [ya right all 500 of them]

    [good review]
    5. Buy it stoopid it's only a dollar. Lay off the mcdoubles and play a sweet game instead!
     
  12. The Bat Outta Hell

    The Bat Outta Hell Moderator
    Staff Member Patreon Silver Patreon Gold Patreon Bronze

    Mar 10, 2009
    9,125
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    Washington
    Lol 90% of the people who leave reviews are absolutely braindead.
     
  13. EMTKiNG

    EMTKiNG Well-Known Member

    Apr 7, 2010
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    EMT
    Los Angeles,CA
    This one cracked me up because of Daredevil Daves Version LOL

    Bruno
    Senior Member
    iPhone 3GS, OS 3.x Join Date: Apr 2009
    Location: Boston
    Posts: 161

    Most of my topics seems to be negative.

    Wow, that is new.

    Anyway, I value my money and I have a lot o experience playing games for a very long time. I know what is a good game and what is not. Time will tell who is right or wrong.

    I put my opinion because for those looking for an action game, this is not the case. It is a strategy repeat and try type of game.

    Of course a game cannot please everyone, I just want to put my view because I am a little tired of games being released without any mkt research and any business strategy.

    The review system of AppStore is questionable, here we have a lot of vague comments due to users average age. I just think we need honest comments. The TA's writers put their thoughts in front page, but when we came here is the same old stuff...... Awesome,..... Downloading now,......syncing. Who cares?

    If you think that my comments are on the negative side that is because that are a lot of bad games out there.

    Regarding my game, this is not my stuff. I just do not have the talent to develop any games.....I just have talent to critique. It is easier, cheaper, and funnier because there will always be people like yourself (bug) that are here to instigate, provoque discussion, and ready to poorly argue about any thing that you read here.

    This is a forum from gamers to gamers. Bad and good opinions leave side by side, if my opinion is the only bad one so far, that not makes me a jerk. I usually express my opinion when I feel bad to spend my money into something that not worth the money.

    Keep discussing, I moved on to the next game.

    Bruno


    Daredevil Dave
    Member Join Date: May 2010
    Posts: 38



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Bruno
    ...snip...

    Awesome,..... Downloading now,......syncing

    ...snip...



    Cooool!
     
  14. EssentialParadox

    EssentialParadox Well-Known Member

    Sep 21, 2009
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    UK / Toronto
    LOL! WOW. An app that defies physics and the laws of nature — why are people not surprised it doesn't work?
     
  15. Theta-Omega

    Theta-Omega Well-Known Member

    May 5, 2009
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    Yep, always fun to read the 1-star reviews, as long as the spelling and grammar errors aren't to bad. The only reviews that actually catch my interest are the ones that aren't a couple of poorly written, incoherent strings of letters all jammed together. You know the ones, they're mostly actual reviews that don't burn your eyes when attempting to read them :p
     
  16. Kyle Poole

    Kyle Poole Well-Known Member

    Apr 28, 2009
    808
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    These people lie
    [1 star]
    by 8kq87p
    "These are all fake reviews!!!!!!
    Read them, they are all the same
    This game is horrible"

    lol, yeah buddy, 500+ 5 star reviews are all fake :rolleyes:

    But I do actually read all the "most critical" reviews, since people have no problem taking the time to leave a 1-star review, but god forbid they email support if they are having troubles with the game...
     
  17. schplurg

    schplurg Well-Known Member

    What he said!!! ^^
     
  18. don_k

    don_k Well-Known Member

    Oct 9, 2008
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    That made me LOL
     
  19. funkynubman

    funkynubman Well-Known Member

    Nov 15, 2009
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    News Reporter/ Superhero
    Right. Behind. You.
    As previously stated, any review by Kijib is terrible.
     
  20. da shiz wiz 19

    da shiz wiz 19 Well-Known Member

    Sep 24, 2009
    7,318
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