The best angry/mean comments you have received from iTunes reviewers

Discussion in 'Public Game Developers Forum' started by Johannvonstranovic, May 23, 2010.

  1. Johannvonstranovic

    Johannvonstranovic Well-Known Member

    Feb 6, 2009
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    Graphic Designer
    Salt Lake City, UT
    I enjoy reading Eric Snider's movie reviews along with his other articles. Every once in awhile he posts what he calls "angry letters". It's probably my favorite thing he does. He inevitably has made fun of a Twilight movie or something and a teenage girl will write him a scathing email about how wrong and stupid he is. Then he proceeds to rip her apart to the delight of all.

    We all get bad reviews along with the good ones in iTunes, but every once in awhile there are just little angry gems that are such disproportionate responses to someone not liking our apps that I just have to laugh.

    I'm not sure if there is already a thread to share these little gems (I did try and search 1st) but I'll start off with one of my favorites. Targeted at a simple (intentionally childish) game we released called doodle golf, Grape-Lime writes:

    "This is so easy and childish that I wish this app never existed!
    DON'T GET IT!
    IT'S WEIRD AND FOR BABIES!!
    THE GOLF BALL IS STUPID!!!
    A TWO-YEAR-OLD MADE THIS!!!!
    I ONLY PLAYED ONE HOLE!!!!! "

    I could really pick that comment apart and point out how wonderfully incoherent it really is, but I'll leave it to it's own merits.

    Please share your favorite angry reviews here, preferably directed at your own apps but if you find a good one elsewhere, throw it in here for good measure. We all need to have a good sense of humor about not being able to please everyone all the time. I am floored by what consumers seem to think they are entitled to for $.99. How about you?
     
  2. ikemike

    ikemike Well-Known Member

    Jul 23, 2009
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    Chicago
    ...I liked Doodle Golf...
     
  3. iMario

    iMario Well-Known Member

    Doodle Golf is ok, dude. Cheer up. It's probably some 7-year old.
     
  4. Uptown Arts

    Uptown Arts Well-Known Member

    "Katy you did not get a bunny you got a hamster" - 2 stars
     
  5. Grubjelly

    Grubjelly Well-Known Member

    Jun 19, 2009
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    Maybe the golf ball is really stupid after all. Of course it can't be stupid, but if its behavior is such that it would insult the intelligence of a good portion of your target audience (including some smart kids who may have buyer's remorse) then such feedback could be useful if you're willing to see past the tantrum to some component of the experience that irked the customer.
     
  6. jak56

    jak56 Well-Known Member

    to be honest i did like the game much either. but that's only because i expected it to be some awesome fun top down golf game.

    i certainly didnt post a stupid review like that though (in fact, i didnt leave one at all purely based on the fact it was nice of you to even offer it free in the first place)
     
  7. TheSporkWithin

    TheSporkWithin Well-Known Member

    Jan 16, 2010
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    College student, studying English/Japanese lit.
  8. Syndicated Puzzles

    Syndicated Puzzles Well-Known Member

    #8 Syndicated Puzzles, May 24, 2010
    Last edited: May 24, 2010
    Johann,

    I like this topic, lots of great examples floating around. Caveman test was doing really well in Italy for a long time. Couldn't figure out why. Then I went to the page on the Italian store and then I understood why. The first two comments were so bad that people had to find out how something could get this nasty negative feedback.

    http://itunes.apple.com/it/app/caveman-test/id339056870?mt=8

    My Italian is good enough to understand that you can't describe an app any worse.

    I actually was able to track down the first guy( he had some questions) and asked him why he was so angry with "Caveman Test"

    He played over 50 games and was never able to beat Ufkah. So I emailed him back explaining to him that it wasn't the games fault that he wasn't good enough to beat the caveman. Immediately after that the second nasty review appeared. It is really funny how many apps have terrible reviews that are selling really well.
     
  9. blue ox

    blue ox Well-Known Member

    Sep 18, 2008
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    This is the one that really puzzles me right now:

    http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/mirror-for-ipod-and-iphone/id359511476?mt=8

    You have to read about 75 reviews before you hit one that isn't a 1-star review.

    #23 paid app on the store, #1 Lifestyle

    What gives? :)
     
  10. bmn0210

    bmn0210 Well-Known Member

    Feb 13, 2010
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    How the **** did Apple even approve that?
     
  11. EMTKiNG

    EMTKiNG Well-Known Member

    Apr 7, 2010
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    EMT
    Los Angeles,CA
  12. 5jusername

    5jusername Well-Known Member

    Mar 10, 2009
    1,650
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    School...
    Somewhere In The Universe
  13. Johannvonstranovic

    Johannvonstranovic Well-Known Member

    Feb 6, 2009
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    Graphic Designer
    Salt Lake City, UT
    Wait this is really a review someone left? Brilliant, this is the kinda crazy I am talking about. It's so delightful.

    Kijib's review are hilarious. With all those caps and exclamation marks I imagine him just constantly yelling in his day to day life. "SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS MAMN!!!!!!!!!!" at a funeral and such. good stuff.
     
  14. The prez 12521

    The prez 12521 Well-Known Member

    Aug 17, 2009
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    USA
    I LOVE reading the reviews that say This sucks, update and I'll give you 1 more star! Honestly, WHO CARES?!?!?

    I read the comments now instead of FML/MLIA/etc.
     
  15. RPGGuy

    RPGGuy Well-Known Member

    Sep 3, 2008
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    I'm sick of the strange/bad reviews from people. I'm going to make a game that has no graphics, no sounds, no controls. They will have nothing to complain about. It will be called 'flashlight'.
     
  16. GregH

    GregH Well-Known Member

    Sep 12, 2009
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    HA! The update notes even say there was a bug that got fixed! I wonder what the bug was :)
     
  17. sidewinder12s

    sidewinder12s Well-Known Member

    Feb 15, 2010
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    Student
    USA
    Wow, Kijib is such a Tool
     
  18. Mew2468

    Mew2468 Well-Known Member

    Oct 20, 2008
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    Vancouver, BC
    "not brite enuf - 1 STARRR!!!!!!"
     
  19. sam the lion

    sam the lion Well-Known Member

    Jan 12, 2009
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    Italy
    Italian reviewers are so bad! Besides the stupid comments, lots of times they can't even spell well their own language. I'm really ashamed of my own country sometimes.
     
  20. bmn0210

    bmn0210 Well-Known Member

    Feb 13, 2010
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    English reviewers are no better, trust me. ;)
     

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