Tell a Joke Thread! (No dirty jokes please)

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Lounge' started by KennyK, Mar 2, 2013.

  1. MidianGTX

    MidianGTX Well-Known Member

    Jun 16, 2009
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    I could have guessed there's no Larry's Pistol & Pawn shop near where you live ;)
     
  2. JBRUU

    JBRUU Well-Known Member

    May 9, 2012
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    Lol that made me chuckle.


    Problem is that that child-dictator might actually do something crazy, no one knows what he's capable of. And with NK having the 4th largest military in the world, it's nothing to sneer at. I'm just glad the US and SK are taking him very seriously and not trying to negotiate.
     
  3. Shadowking2214

    Shadowking2214 Well-Known Member

    Sep 13, 2012
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    I'm not sure if this counts as dirty or not but here goes nothing. Vagina jokes aren't funny,period.
     
  4. k1lljoy_89

    k1lljoy_89 Well-Known Member

    Nov 25, 2011
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    Look out your window.
    The two words had the potential to make a funny joke, but it was randomly placed at the end of a barely relevant sentance, so yeah, there went nothing.
     
  5. Sambobsung

    Sambobsung Well-Known Member

    May 19, 2012
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    Canada
    Isn't it also 'Guys, stop talking about PMS. Period.'?
     
  6. k1lljoy_89

    k1lljoy_89 Well-Known Member

    Nov 25, 2011
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    Look out your window.
    How many girls on PMS does it take to change a lightbulb
    "BECAUSE IT IS"
     
  7. KennyK

    KennyK Well-Known Member

    No jokes in a while...

     
  8. TheEvilRobot

    TheEvilRobot Well-Known Member

    Apr 4, 2013
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    What did the fart say to the crap?
     
  9. klarence

    klarence Well-Known Member

    Oct 22, 2011
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    well it's infact just my feeling instead of a joke:
    I learned that American are descendants of gangsters after played Red Dead Redemption, and I realised they are still gangsters nowdays after played GTA.
     
  10. XvEsunavX

    XvEsunavX Well-Known Member

    Mar 20, 2012
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    Thief stole a calendar... Got 12 months... YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!
     
  11. undeadcow

    undeadcow Well-Known Member

    Dec 4, 2010
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    Houston, TX
    Jokes

    Here's one...

    The French existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a cafe when a waitress approached him: “Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?”

    Sartre replied, “Yes, I’d like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream”.

    Nodding agreement, the waitress walked off to fill the order and Sartre returned to working. A few minutes later, however, the waitress returned and said, “I’m sorry, Monsieur Sartre, we are all out of cream — how about with no milk?”
     
  12. MasterChief3624

    MasterChief3624 Well-Known Member

    Oct 11, 2009
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    What does the Confederate Army eat their food with?
    Civilware

    Knock Knock
    Who's There?
    Note
    Note Who?
    I'm not sure, but I'll keep you Post-It (posted)

    One of the jokes above, I made up. One of the jokes above, I did not. Both these previous sentences are false. ;)
     
  13. Vovin

    Vovin 👮 Spam Police 🚓

    Nov 28, 2009
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    #174 Vovin, Jul 19, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2013
    Death: It's your time. give me your hand.

    Blonde: No! I know that if I don't touch you, then I'll never die!

    Death: Holy shit! You figured out the key to living forever! You're soooo smart! High five!

    Blonde: *high fives*
     
  14. Vovin

    Vovin 👮 Spam Police 🚓

    Nov 28, 2009
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    My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
     
  15. Andy C83

    Andy C83 Well-Known Member

    Oct 20, 2010
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    Over the Rainbow
    Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted...
     
  16. Vovin

    Vovin 👮 Spam Police 🚓

    Nov 28, 2009
    6,514
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    My 1st time having sex after a while.
    I suddenly stopped and didn't move.
    She: "What are you doing?"
    Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.
     
  17. Vovin

    Vovin 👮 Spam Police 🚓

    Nov 28, 2009
    6,514
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    I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits. Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.
     
  18. Papa Deuce

    Papa Deuce Well-Known Member

    May 15, 2013
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    Exactly.... Bacon fat is much better.
     
  19. BulldogBaby86

    BulldogBaby86 Well-Known Member

    Jul 25, 2013
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    Student
    California
    What's long, brown, and sticky?

    A stick.

    :p
     

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