Hoggy's Joke Of The Day: What did one banana say to the other banana? Spoiler HELP MEEEEE!!!! I'VE BEEN TURNED INTO A BANANA BY A SECRET GOVERNMENT RESEARCH THING!!!
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and Spoiler there's no punchline .
Lol at Crex's joke. There's this a man at a bar, slumped in his stool, looking depressed as heck. So a big trucker walks in and sees him, notices his distress, and tries to cheer him up by grabbing the depressed man's drink and gulping it down. The depressed man simply stares at the trucker and shakes his head, mumbling "Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse..." So the trucker feels bad, sits down in the stool next to the man and says, "Well, gee, man, I didn't mean anything by it, just wanted cheer you up a bit. What's the matter anyways? Want to talk about it?" The man slowly nods and begins, "Well, first of all, I woke up late this morning, so I was speeding to work, and got a speeding ticket, so to make up for lost time, I sped off again and ran into another car, so I arrived at work late and got fired. Then I go back home only to find my wife cheating on me. So I finally give up and come to this bar, and just when I'm about to kill myself, you show up and drink my poison."
A gorgeous blonde went to the dentist for a cleaning. The hygienist asked the patient to please remove her bulky headphones so that some X-rays could be taken. When the patient removed her headphones she immediately dropped to the floor and died. The hygienist screamed for the doctor to come quick. Then they heard a sound coming from the headsets. The doctor picked up the phones to listen only to hear ..." Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.....
That is the worse joke/least witty diss of all time. It's actually funny for that reason alone hahaha
Hoggy's joke of the day What happened to the man who ordered a cheeseburger in a shoe store? Spoiler His seeing-eye dog quickly took him out because he was embarassed of his owner
A bus carrying many people crashed on an icy road, burst into flames, and killed everyone. Upon arrival in heaven, God says "Since you have died in a terrible way, I'll grant you one wish before I let you into heaven." The first woman, being a person always concerned on her looks, comes up to God and says "I wish to be beautiful." God grants her wish. The next person cant decide on what to wish for so ends up wishing for the same thing. At this point a man at the very back of the line starts to laugh. The next couple of people make their wish to become beautiful and the man at the end laughs even louder. One after another the people wish the same thing and the closer God gets to the end of the line, the harder the man laughs. When God finally reaches him, he asks "What is your wish my son?" The man says, "Make them all ugly again!"
Glad you liked it Here's another: A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''
I have a feeling I've seen that one before...don't know where though Anyway, it's time for Hoggy's joke of the day Why was 6 afraid of 7? Spoiler Numbers don't have feeling. Don't be ridiculous...also the kid drawing the numbers gave 7 a massive machine gun, a rocket launcher on his head, a shotgun, a sniper rifle, a chainsaw and a machete
I have one, heard from my friend. There are 2 tourists flying in a helicopter. Suddenly, the pilot got unconscious and the helicopter started to crash. There are no parachutes in the helicopter. Having no choice, the first tourist started leaping out of the helicopter and yelled: BLESS ME, GOD! The first tourist survived. The second tourist, which forgot what the first tourist yelled, leaped out of the helicopter nervously and yelled: BLAST ME, GOD! He died.
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. The question is: Who was the survivor? Spoiler The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man. Women stop reading here. That is the end of the joke. Men keep reading... Spoiler So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. And that explains why there was a car accident, women are terrible drivers. By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never listen, either.
And another... A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says: "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!" "This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."
It's time for Hoggy's joke of the day What happened to the homosexual man who crossed the street Spoiler Nothing. He crossed the street like a normal person. BECAUSE BEING HOMOSEXUAL IS NOTHING WRONG PEOPLE!!!
