iPad Jokes about games/apps

Discussion in 'iPhone and iPad Games' started by arono, Feb 20, 2009.

  1. arono

    arono Well-Known Member

    Dec 17, 2008
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    Sam's town
    Hey all of you
    I'm wondering if any of you who has a comedian blood (or not) is able to make up a joke that involves an app or a game
    This would be a nice idea for a contest but unfortunately i have nothing to give away so for the moment it would be just something to laugh for a while

    Sorry if this is not the right forum didn't know where to post it
     
  2. GatorDeb

    GatorDeb Well-Known Member

    Feb 1, 2009
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    Las Vegas, NV, USA
    Blow Hard.

    There.
     
  3. DHrox

    DHrox Well-Known Member

    Jan 21, 2009
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    Baltimore, MD
    Sway my way, baby.

    Not you guys:p
     
  4. GatorDeb

    GatorDeb Well-Known Member

    Feb 1, 2009
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    Las Vegas, NV, USA
    How about me? ;)
     
  5. 1337brian

    1337brian Well-Known Member

    Oct 12, 2008
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    In My Head
    Whoa gatordeb is frisky! :p

    Ok I got one....
    How many dev's it take to change a light bulb? 10!
    1 to change it, 9 others to say they could have done better...;)
     
  6. GatorDeb

    GatorDeb Well-Known Member

    Feb 1, 2009
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    How many months does it take Apple to approve Zen Bound?

    Oh, wait... :(
     
  7. 1337brian

    1337brian Well-Known Member

    Oct 12, 2008
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    In My Head
    LoL, I liked it! :D Made me laugh...
     
  8. DHrox

    DHrox Well-Known Member

    Jan 21, 2009
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    Baltimore, MD
    Air Master 3D! It's in 3D! So buy it. BUY IT, GATORDEB, BUY IT! Frisky person!
     
  9. GatorDeb

    GatorDeb Well-Known Member

    Feb 1, 2009
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    I'm not a boy ;)

    Deb - bie :D
     
  10. DHrox

    DHrox Well-Known Member

    Jan 21, 2009
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    #10 DHrox, Feb 20, 2009
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2009
    FAIL! Cripes! I made the same mistake as Coal. Don't ask.

    *Adjusts post*

    There. I'll just say person. Less controversial anyways...nor will it creep anyone out:p
     
  11. RobbieDingo

    RobbieDingo Active Member

    Feb 15, 2009
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    iApp Development Process...

    1) Announce your App’s availability first:

    - to avoid disappointment, always best to go for something vague here, like “Tomorrow at 11:15am”. Don’t account for Apple’s review processing time, that’s an unknown quantity anyway.

    2) Make a really cool YouTube demo:

    - for best results use a top notch 3D modelling program like Maya or better still just use full motion video. But remember to slap an iPhone border around it so it looks like it might run on the iPhone or iPodTouch.

    3) Write the code:

    - yes, this is actually a fairly important step and you may need to learn a little programming towards the end of this stage. But remember that you can always post updates later (see 10) so don’t worry if the App is not actually functioning when it is released. If your App regularly crashes due to a memory leak and your lack of understanding of memory management, just post a reminder that people should have really restarted their device before they ran the App - DIDN'T THEY READ THE MANUAL? This will divert people’s attention away from you for long enough.

    3.5) Write the manual:

    - (Optional).

    4) Name your App:

    - always prefix the name for your App with the letter ‘i’ or iBelieve Apple will reject it by default. Go for something snappy but memorable like “iTurboTieFighterTheRevenge II -The Beginning”. The name you choose does not have to be reflective of the App but using a high letter-count is important, anything less that 24 characters will not be truncated on the iPhone or iTunes screen.

    5) Make a much, much lower quality YouTube video:

    - now you have a working App with a cool iName, it’s time to make that really shaky & grainy video of it running live on the device in your hands. Remember to use a cheep webcam, point a bright light directly down on the screen and don’t use a stand as this makes the graphics visible to your audience. Keep the distant HiFi running loudly in the background so you don't need to pay for the music track or worry about the DMCA on YouTube.

    6) Price and Ship your App:

    - don’t be fooled into giving out promotional codes to your mates, if you do this they will not be able to write those all-important 5-Star reviews for you. In terms of pricing, always, always go high....... initially.

    7) Now consider the market:

    - your customers will always want multiple versions of similar Apps that do the same thing installed on their device.

    8) Re-Price & Re-Package:

    - gradually and stepwise, lower the price of your App as soon as the first crop of loyal customers have paid the full price (c. 1 week). Then disable just one minor feature and release a lite (free) version.

    9) Test:

    - this is not something you have to do yourself of course, your customers will be more than willing to do this for you and what’s better - they will pay *you* to do it!

    10) Consider Updating:

    - but don’t actually do it - there is just no financial reward to be had. Go make another iFart/iWobble App instead.


    ** Disclaimer: These are my thoughts as a customer... As a developer (I made LawnBowls BTW http://forums.toucharcade.com/showthread.php?t=5236) these are the steps I will NOT be doing!
     
  12. 1337brian

    1337brian Well-Known Member

    Oct 12, 2008
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    Wrong thread methinks? :confused:
     
  13. ibelongintheforums

    ibelongintheforums Well-Known Member

    Jan 4, 2009
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    How many updates does it take to fix urban tycoon?
    oh...................
    never mind
     
  14. RobbieDingo

    RobbieDingo Active Member

    Feb 15, 2009
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    ...and there's me thinking I was being ironic. :eek:
     
  15. ibelongintheforums

    ibelongintheforums Well-Known Member

    Jan 4, 2009
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    I thought it was funny
    lol
     
  16. 1337brian

    1337brian Well-Known Member

    Oct 12, 2008
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    In My Head

    Didn't realize that the whole post was the joke...

    LoL, I didn't even read it until now... Sorry! :D
     
  17. RobbieDingo

    RobbieDingo Active Member

    Feb 15, 2009
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    LOL s'ok was meant to look *almost* plausible...
     
  18. coconutbowling

    coconutbowling Well-Known Member

    Dec 8, 2008
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    Student
    Pennsylvania
    Check out my puns thread in the lounge
     
  19. FazzyReborn

    FazzyReborn Well-Known Member

    Feb 8, 2009
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