It is now LIVE! Also, visit udderpanic.com for information on how we're ALL gonna help a Make-A-Wish wish kid's dream come true! Look at them, the people of Earth pointlessly plodding across the surface of their planet, waving pieces of plastic at each other to get what they want and taking their surplus of cows entirely for granted. Burgers, soap (yeah, they're all rubbing cow all over themselves in the shower), and glorious methane emissions. What would those hopeless meat-sacks be without their precious cows? In the immortal words of Joni Mitchell, "Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone... STRAIGHT UP INTO OUTER SPACE!". The invasion is soon to begin. Earth won't know what hit it, but it'll definitely know the cost. Cows. All of their cows. UDDER PANIC is the upcoming title from JB GAMING, creator's of the beloved (by, like, three of you) Beast Bound! UDDER PANIC will have players sucking up as many cows as they can before their energy runs out or until you fail. Let's face it, failure is inevitable, we're all humans here after all, right fellow humans? I'm having a real humany normal day, I hope you are, too! Humans! SUCK UP 'DEM SWEET, SWEET COWS! Test your reflexes and see how many cows you can liberate from Earth's surface! (Avoid the Bomb-Bulls and those weird lookin' cows, though...) WEAR TOTALLY CONVINCING DISGUISES! We admit, an alien is going to stand out, but who's going to think twice about a fish careening through the air? Stupid humans. GET NEW WHIPS, HOMIE! Drop that fine set of buns of yours into some sweet new rides! Have a nice relaxing invasion in the Standard UFO or crank up the speed in the Iron Horse! Mix n' match your disguise and ship to your heart's content! SHARE YOUR PALTRY HIGH SCORE WITH JEALOUS FRIENDS! Think you can beat TWELVE hotshot?! No trailer as of yet. The game's gonna be in your grubby little mitts sometime around October 15th anyway, so what's the point? Here's a gif, though (The game gets FAST, man, believe me!) And don't even think about asking me about the Golden Cows, we're not ready to talk about the Golden Cows. Seriously, just drop it about THE GOLDEN COWS.
I could not stop laughing for some time. It looks funny indeed and I liked the comment "wear totally convincing disguises". I would suggest to upload and post a YouTube gameplay video. This would be much more helpful than the gifs; looking forward to hear some funny sounds. And... could you please tell us more about Golden Cows?
Oh blushes, go on now <3 I hope people will both find it endearing AND cruel, in the best way. I mean, just look at those innocent doughy cows, they didn't ask for any of this, but they sure as heck are getting THE BUSINESS. Ask and you shall receive!* Jump to the 3:15 mark to catcha rare glimpse of Gacha-Bot! Our fickle mechanical madman who dolls out prizes at random (if you've got the coin, that is). What's with that red ball he spits out, though? It didn't look like that cost anything. HMMM....mmmm... Apologizes for the poo-crap frame rate. I promise you it's buttery smooth on device. Udder Panic's majesty was apparently too much for Quicktime's device recording to bear. *Except for information the Golden Cows! NONE ARE WORTHY of those bad mama-jama's just yet. I will say, however, that you should keep an eye on this button once we get rollin'. It'll take some time, but we plan on big things happening!
You used your very first forum post on little ol' me?! Oh Square Pug, where have you been all my life? <3 I wish more internet strangers would come out of the woodwork specifically to compliment me, I feel this doesn't happen as often as it should. Also: Thanks, man! This is really the first time I've done actual "fluid" animation, glad to hear it's coming across well! Also, here's one of my fave's, the idle animation for "Fish Out of Water". Now if that's not the face of a fish who has never seen the top of a tree before, I dunno what is.
For you, Rexxie, the world <3 Legally the world is not mine to give despite my repeated demands and threats to the UN, so this gif will have to do instead! Meet Omi, our single minded cow-crazed protagonist (or antagonist depending on where you're standing). Look closely, this is the face of a serial cow abductor. Deep in those dead black eyes lies a cold expanse of terror and indifference toward human life, not unlike this universe we inhabit. His sneer is a mix of sadistic pleasure and jealous rage- Earth has the monopoly on cows and that's NOT okay with him. I guess what I'm trying to say is that he'd probably be a real jerk at parties.
A part of me thinks, though, that if you're standing around in a field with your best buds (I'm talking solid bros you've known since kindergarten) and one of them gets sucked up by an alien tractor beam and you DON'T move out of the way or even react, you've kinda got it coming.
OK, ya'll, here's the rub-dub, the skinny, the lowest of low downs; we're still waiting on Apple but we could be live as soon as TOMORROW (That's October 15th for those of you with a poor grasp on what day today is). Failing that, our plan is to launch ASAP. I'm just ITCHING to tell you about these guys: I'm super excited about what those little buggers will mean at launch AND in the future. Keep an eye on the forums, we'll be rolling things out SOON!
Thank goodness that the human creature has developed the written language and then went and invented and gave me access to this keyboard. All of these events have culminated into this message: "Thank god I can type to you now, cause I've got a foot wedged firmly into my mouth." Looks like we're looking at next week! I KNOW, I KNOW, you need Udder Panic right now and you're hysterical-BEYOND hysterical and just might inflict self harm but I'm here to tell you "look, calm down, it's just a game." A game that's coming out VERY SOON! HOLD ONTO THOSE HORSES, KIDS!
Check yourself: how would you describe the available space in your bladder and or bowels? If you said anything more urgent than "pretty full" this is your first and only warning to evacuate your bio-waste voluntarily 'cause I've got an announcement that's not gonna care if your pants stay fresh afterward: Udder Panic will be available MONDAY, October 19th! You've all been so patient waiting for info on the Golden Cows! To that end I say this to you: What's a few more days gonna hurt, huh?! I'll be back Monday to explain everything! Until then, stay hygienic and control yourselves, you hapless jackals!
You've all been so patient! Papa Action is back to deliver what he promised, so open wide and say "AOOOHHMYGOD!" Udder Panic is live! We're having some difficulties in our announcement thread, but check it out anyway! Now, those Golden Cows: We've partnered with Make-A-Wish for a special tie-in. All across the globe, anyone who collects a Golden Cow will be contributing to making a child's wish come true! All you have to do us suck 'em up! Once we reach 1,000,000 Golden Cows globally, we will grant the wish of a Make-A-Wish wish kid! We'll be tracking our progress on the front page of http://www.udderpanic.com. I've been staring at that meter all day, let's make it MOVE! Once we all reach the goal, we'll do it all over again! Not sold? Don't care about the children? Well the Golden Cows are worth 10 points in the game, how'd you like them apples? GO GET IT!
