I need a funny speech topic

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Lounge' started by Kamazar, Jan 13, 2010.

  1. Kamazar

    Kamazar Well-Known Member

    Dec 13, 2008
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    Ok, so we have a thing at my school where we write our own speeches and present them. The rough draft is due on friday. I have no idea what to write mine on. I need ideas. It needs to be funny, I don't wanna go up there and have everyone zone out (it makes it even more awkward than it already is). So yeah, funny, wacky, unusual, whatever. You know my sense of humor. I'm a sarcastic SOB. Help? Thanks.
     
  2. dogmeat

    dogmeat Well-Known Member

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    the cheater way out would be to come up with a funny speech based on how you couldn't think of any ideas, then tell people the wacky things you did in your research trying to come up with an idea.

    So your job is to find off the wall topics that you were considering to write the report on, try and find something funny in each attempt, summarize, speak.
     
  3. super6ft7

    super6ft7 Well-Known Member

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    I have the exact same thing, but i'm delivering the speech tomorrow...
     
  4. squarezero

    squarezero Moderator
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    Any way you can narrow things a bit? Any topics that particularly interest you? Any no-go areas? What exactly is the purpose of the assignment? How long is it supposed to be?
     
  5. dogmeat

    dogmeat Well-Known Member

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    Another thing that will guarantee you an A is understanding your audience. You will basically win the speech in the beginning if you "relate" to your audience in some way and cause them to laugh.

    Make sure the stuff you say after this is valid though.
     
  6. da shiz wiz 19

    da shiz wiz 19 Well-Known Member

    Sep 24, 2009
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    Well a study shows the correlation between happiness and the economy.
    When the ecnomy was down happiness was up, then when the economy was up happiness was down. So happiness is bad thing. You have to be dead serious when saying that though. idk some guy did a speech like that and I pissed my pants.

    You can make fun of how people try to advance themselves technologically. It's actually really easy.
     
  7. LBG

    LBG Señor Member

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    31.560499, -111.904128
  8. Kamazar

    Kamazar Well-Known Member

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    #8 Kamazar, Jan 13, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2010
    Eh, that'll be my back-up idea probably, but I dunno. Don't think I could pull it off.

    No specific topic, really. Just something off-beat and funny. No go... well, anything that's blatantly risque. I can push the envelope a little, but not that much. The purpose is to better public speaking skills. 2-4 minutes.

    I definitely know about that. My facebook statuses are legendary because of what I write. The thing is, a lot of my jokes are inside jokes. 3 people maybe be laughing 'til it hurts, but the rest of the class, not so much.

    Eh, I guess it's all in the delivery, because I have no idea how what you just said was funny. But advancing themselves technologically, you mean like plastic surgery? That could work... maybe.

    Been to the web site :p I was considering doing a speech on how I was offered to be a spy, but I rejected for so and so reasons. Not sure about it, though. Narcissism is funny in small doses.
     
  9. dogmeat

    dogmeat Well-Known Member

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    Write about how Becky Tinderman© lost her virginity in your first grade class.





    I created Becky about a year ago, it's fun to bring her up in conversations with people and make up stories.
     
  10. d1

    d1 Well-Known Member

    Sep 19, 2009
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    Lmfao, that's a great idea.
     
  11. Dylan1696

    Dylan1696 Well-Known Member

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  12. Roadblocked

    Roadblocked Well-Known Member

    Jan 5, 2010
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    here are some good topics that are hilarious.

    aids.

    Australia.
     
  13. MidianGTX

    MidianGTX Well-Known Member

    Jun 16, 2009
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    If AIDS is funny then so is 9/11.
     
  14. Kamazar

    Kamazar Well-Known Member

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    w...t...f.
     
  15. CDubby94

    CDubby94 Well-Known Member

    Mar 31, 2009
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    Betty White
    Why kids under 18 should only be able to use audiobooks on their iPods.

    I had to come up with a five minute improv speech about that once no joke.

    It's not that funny, just kind of stupid, but it's whatever, you could easily make it funny.
     
  16. Dylan1696

    Dylan1696 Well-Known Member

    Oct 20, 2009
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    Debbie did it here in '78
    Aids! Australia.


    Yeah, Just talk about how "Magic" Johnson had the cure for HIV the whole time, that's why he's still here. Just do it all in a "Croc Hunter/Mick Dundee" accent and dialogue format. A good character accent makes anything funny! (If you can talk like Rodney Dangerfield then you are set) :)
     
  17. LBG

    LBG Señor Member

    Apr 19, 2009
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    Just come in wearing a mankini and give speech on Jew.
     
  18. Scottlarsen

    Scottlarsen Well-Known Member

    Nov 25, 2009
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    You could talk about how blue tooth makes people look crazy.

    If all else fails talk about clowns.
     
  19. Will090

    Will090 Well-Known Member

    Give a speech on the amount of fail in this post
     
  20. Amelia

    Amelia Well-Known Member

    Jan 1, 2010
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    you could give a speech about puns. puns are funny. you could write your speech about puns, with puns. :D
     

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