Girlfriend wants to gets married im only 18

Exactly this.

 

I'm 17 years old and how the hell did you manage to get two girlfriends and marriage talk already? I seriously must have missed that lesson.

Whatever, I'm a British person in a country that is not England, and good things will come to those who wait as they say

 

Not necessarily, depends on the state, assuming US.

You're not missing out on much, trust me.

 

heh. this topic was a good read. had lots of lol moments.

bottom line. dont do it.

shes way too young, and you too for the matter. live a little, i mean you got your whole life ahead of you still. you should be looking for a wife when your around 25-30 years old. then comes the kids, before you know it your life has passed you by. i met my wife 12 years ago. just had my fifth anniversary this year. my boy will be 3 at christmas.

go to college, do dumb stuff. have fun. memories of the good times will be all you have later in life. you don't want to be remembering how you got married at 18 and missed out on your youth.

 

Dude you can have sex even if you're not circumcised, It has nothing to do with it. You"ll know what to do when the time comes on that matter.

On the OT my advice would be to not gte married that young, when I was 16 I had a girlfriend that I lasted more than 2 years with, it was my second girlfriend and at the time I thought there was no way that I we wouldnt end up married.

To make a long story short we break up six months after I went to college, i had an insanely good time there and had many more girlfriends/hook ups and ended up getting married three years ago when I was 26, already had a fine job and a house. We had 3 amazing years of marriage in which we've partied and traveled and now we're expecting a baby and thrilled about it, there are times for everithing, there is no need to rush things.

What im trying to get that is that the things that look huge now will seem like nothing in a couple years, its a lot better to try 'n find a new girl than to get married just because she'll leave you if you dont. If you do not want to find a new girl then talk with her, Im sure that even if she doesnt get it now, she will in a couple of years when she realizes both of you are still suoer young and in a prime time to enjoy life!

Cheers man!

 

After posting my first comment. I came back to read the feedback. I'm glad to see lots of people chiming in to give the same advice.

In a nutshell it seems to me you're scared of going into another relation, or more bluntly is wary of going into the whole dating/getting to know new people phase, and settling for something that is comfortably "known". But you did it once, and you can definitely do it again; this time with more knowledge and experience.

Btw how did we get on the subject of circumcision? And why the heck are you afraid that it might be a problem? Uncut guys are way more dominant in the world. But maybe coz you're in the US I wonder..?

Anw shake the anxiety off and take into consideration all the input you got from your instincts, relations and this thread you created. I think you already know your move.

 

deleted

 

Advise in a nutshell: Don't do it. You are both too young. Make up your mind what you want, and talk to her about it.
Take your time, live some life, and see where you end up in a few years or decades.

What really got me to respond is this:

From your age I assume that both of you aren't exactly swimming in money. Do you go and buy things for her out of your own volition? Or because you "feel you have to" or - even worse - because she pressures you into it?
A relationship is not about how much money your partner spends for you, but about how well you get along in daily life over a(n ideally longer) period of time.

When I was your age, one of my friends got married in a rush: he was 17, his wife was 10 years older. Did not last long, divorce after less than a year. That's the only practical experience I have with young-age marriage, so take it with a grain of salt.
But anyways: *Nobody* I know/knew over the years is still together with their teenage partner, not even couples that lasted anywhere from 5-20+ years.

Also when I was your age, I had a girlfriend I felt quite serious about - and she did as well. We were talking about getting engaged already, after only 6 months. Lo behold, 3 months later we broke up.

My marriage - which also was my longest relationship then (3 years couple, 3 years married) - broke up in a huge and ugly divorce fight.
With my current partner - 5 years now and counting - I have a 3 year old kid now, and I think we are doing good as parents and as couple.
But... I'll be 40 in a few weeks, and my partner is older than me. Thinking back on how immature and sometimes outright stupid I was before, say, hitting 25 or 30, I am absolutely horrified when I try to imagine I had become a parent at that age.

If you both decide you are serious and feel up to a long-term commitment (because that is what marriage codifies in essence) , talk it through: what do you expect from life, where do you want to go, what are your dreams and expectations for - say - 10 years from now?
Just don't get children yet, please. Do yourself - and most importantly the kids - a favour and wait with that. Kids are a huge responsibility: it's up to YOU suddenly to make sure another - and at first totally helpless - person that totally depends on you has a good life.
And money makes the world go round: parental love and your best efforts to raise your child(ren) are the most important thing. But that doesn't help you when you can't feed, clothe and shelter the people that depend on you.

Not to mention that you don't have to be married to be "serious" : sure, it's an extra step showing "that you really mean it" (and the tax benefits help too ) , but is it really necessary? -> No.
If you want to stay together, just do it and see where life takes you. No need to be married to have a long-lasting relationship.

 

Most girls are like that at that age, I've actually been engaged twice just to keep them happy and both times I was wondering what just happened.

Just to be negative I'll also add both of those girls actually ended up cheating on me later and I was so naive myself at that age I really didn't see it coming and wouldn't have believed anyone who said such a thing was possible.

So enjoy it but be careful.

 

deleted

 

@pluto6: that's some great advise for our young one here

You're welcome, Hambo
Well, faithfulness... from my experience that should be the least of your worries; unless you are of the "have sex with someone else once and I will end the relationship, law-set-in-stone" disposition.
Most people are (serial) monogamous, but stuff still happens for all kinds of reasons.
I only saw a few relationships - funnily enough including none of my own - break up because partners went to have sex with someone else.
It all depends on the circumstances; e.g. does partner A keep at it, knowing perfectly well that partner B is not happy with it? But then, I'd say that's just a symptom and something more fundamentally - say, very different views on sex outside your relationship - does not work out for the two/three/whatever.

When you are young, it is much easier to roll from one relationship right into the next; and at least in my experience happens a lot more often. One reason being simple numbers: the older you get, the more potential partners are already "off the market", so to speak.
And your attitude changes with age, too: When I was your age, it was "let's have a good time and see how long it lasts, no need to think 20 years ahead" . Now, at 40 (well, even 10+ years ago already), I *want* a relationship that lasts for a long time. Second-best (in terms of the points below this) just doesn't cut it anymore. If you plan to stay together and not break up immediately when the ride gets a bit rough, you have to be compatible.

Anyways, I digress: While sex sure is important, for a long-term relationship other things are much higher up the ladder:
How well do you get along in daily life?
Do your worldviews match?
Do you both have personalities that allow you to get along?
What are your plans for life?
If you have children, compatible views on parenting sure help a lot.
Etc... I think you get the picture.

 

Everyone i know who got married in their early 20's from my friends are now all divorced.

The rest of us 'played the field' in our 20's (to get it out of our systems !) and then settled down. I personally think thats the way to go.

I dont get this 'marry at 21...' mularky to the first girl you fall in love with. At 18 or 19 i thought i loved every girl i met (specially after a few drinks !). You need to experience life, how do you know 'shes the one' when the worlds a MASSIVE place and you may meet someone special if you go travelling, overseas or even in another state. I mean what are the chances the 'dream girl' just happens to be a few blocks away eh !!

Live life, dont settle down when you're young, drink/party/get a career then settle down forever.

Our parents were the types to get married at 18 etc, this generation is totally different. If you arent religious why even marry ? Just stick with someone and see how it works. But i bet you we can have this chat in 5 years time and you wont even be seeing this other girl. Its a crush basically, a teenage crush and its not 'real' as in it would be crazy to get married and live with her for 50 years etc. Dont mean to belittle the situation but come on ! I would talk about this with your friends rather than online with strangers, thats what we did in the 'old days' before the internet !

But looking at one of the points above. Children having children ! Does she work, do you ? Have your own place ? Do you realise how much a baby costs ? Childcare etc ?

 

This guy nails it^^