My Dad forwarded this to me today and I thought it was funny. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -David Bissonette After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. -Sacha Guitry By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -Socrates Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. -Anonymous I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. -Sigmund Freud 'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.' -Anonymous 'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.' -Sam Kinison 'I've had bad luck with both my wives.. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.' -James Holt McGavra Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. -Patrick Murra The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.... -Nash You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. -Anonymous My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Henny Youngman A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -Rodney Dangerfield A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' -Anonymous First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.' -Anonymous
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. -Yogi Berra Classic Rodney Dangerfield quotes "I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going." "I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." "I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio." "I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it." "I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." "I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." "I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
Get bent! Uh, that was directed at the spam/advertisement... just in case it gets deleted and I look like I'm insulting people on a random ancient topic.
