Hey guys, long time noOHMYGOD. :O Are you trying to start another war independent of us spurring you on? OHH <3<3<3 *u* Also, on behalf of SkyVu, I would like to share with you all a juicy morsel of NOPZ: an unholy amalgamation of part of a cutscene that became something greater than the sum of its parts. A mistake of nature, senselessly wrought by unwilling hands. I .. what .. I don't even ... Also also, I heard that Lt. Action REALLY likes it when you refer to him as "Turkey Bird". Just sayin'.
To refer to me as "Turkey Bird" is to sing the sweet song of death. Death upon yourself, death upon your loved ones. An acrid hymn of sorrow that will carry with it only pain and destruction of every interpretation. Also, be sure to check back here in, like, 10 more minutes to see who won last week's contest (GEEWHIZIWONDERWHOIT'LLBE) AND to get dumped upon you a large, dense, steamy IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT. See you soon <3
BIG ANNOUNCEMENT Okay my sweet satin baby faced Children of the Love Corn, here's the deal. I am pretending to be very, very sad to announce that this week there will NOT be a new contest. Please, hold your applause and let me finish. Something terrible has happened. Terrible in the same way that angles made of ranch dressing carrying you to a sea of tacos on a sled made of money all the while singing your praises and complimenting you on your haircut (or lack there of) is terrible. You see, it's been over a month since I've begun this little project, herding as many of you into a corner as I could so I could shake jingly expectations and promises at you until you couldn't take it any longer and began cannibalizing yourselves and pecking out each others eyes with your own beaks, all in the name of Battle Bears NOPZ. A game that none of you really know anything about, a name whose acronym still remains an uninteresting mystery, apparently. This day I do NOT offer you a new contest. Instead, I offer you conteXt as to why I've awarded myself a long overdue week off. Here's what's going on: NOPZ has been in production for a good while now. Just recently, three of our team members, including our boss, the venerable Benjamin of Vu, decided it would be in their best interest to haul off to GDC and enjoy a week of what it's like to die and go to heaven while the rest of us sorry saps sat around and clicked into various computer screens, grimly calculating our time left here on Earth, wishing the end would come sooner. Before our constituency left for GDC, we had a clear vision for NOPZ. When they came back, each of the three of them were completely drunk with possibility and clumsily spilling forth ideas from every orifice. GDC had extended its God Hand and unlocked the unused 90% of their brains. It had turned them into Jukebox Heroes. Stars in their eyes. Nothing escaped the divine fury that GDC had endowed them with. Every comfort cranny we had set ourselves into was being forcibly torn asunder. Every tight, time frugal framework we had built for ourselves was to become unwillingly expanded. When they left us, we had a pretty decent game in the works. When they came back, the scope was expanded nearly sixfold. I am not exaggerating in anyway whatsoever. The Advent Calendar was originally intended to carry us as close to NOPZ's release as possible. I thought 10 weeks was enough in the beginning. NOW-now I am floating amongst a dense sea of unanswerable questions, lulz and, further more, a migrating deadline. The contests are likely to become a biweekly thing but WORRYNOT, I will be here every step of the way, your greasy little hands grasped by the rugged man club that I refer to as my own hand. To summarize, for those of you that have a deep seated fear of actually reading something and enhancing yourselves: *NOPZ's scope has expanded beyond all measure. The game is now far more involved and deeper in every rational sense. *Because of what I just said, I'm casting Slowga on this thread and the contests will now be biweekly as I just can't keep up with you guys AND work on the game at the same time @____@ I am very willing to discuss and answer questions about the game as long as said answers are better left to ferment in their own secret juices until they become the most potent nuggets of info that they could ever be. NOW, the winner of the Facebook contest IS BUHDUHDUHDUHDUHDINSINCEREDRUMROLLCAUSEWEALLALREADYKNOWTHEANSWERBUHDUHBUHDUHDUHDRRRRRHHHHHH aznriceboi13 for his amazing ability to beat top contenders by less than 2 points. Congratulations! And HERE are the stats for the contest that we're still running that will end NEXT Thursday <3 Serial Bear Super Sleuth CSI (Details on page 1- Contest ends April 2nd). Fogfun (3rd): BABABOOM- 6 correct! Has anyone ever told you that you have a very nice process of elimination/trial and error? <3 aznriceboi13 (5th try): FOUR correct. Couple moar and YOUGOTIT. deiden26 (6th try): It's okay, some of us develop a little later in life than others, but, the important thing is you've finally blossomed <3 hollerbee: FOUR correct. HOTDAMN you almost had it! D: Will090 (3rd try): SIX CORRECT! OHMYGODMARRYME! Ace 97 (2nd try): TWO correct this time. COMPARE AND CONTRAST! evilhomer (3rd try):SIX CORRECT! Woo to the oot! WELL DONE, SIR! minorpane (3rd try): What number starts with "correct" and ends in "victory"? That's right, YOU RaptorF35: ONE correct. Hey, it's a start Whosatm: FOUR correct. WHOANELLY. drelbs (3rd try): Third try IS a charm. The coyest, charmiest sonuvagunnumber there ever was <3 ImNoSuperMan: THREE correct. Well played, madam. Bag Of Awesome: THREE correct. What a popular number, that 3. Get 3 MORE right and we'll talk ;D WINNERS CIRCLE... Er, POTENTIAL Winner's Circle: evilhomer Fogfun Will090 minorpane deiden26 drelbs The "I have no idea what you're talking about but I have a need to please everyone in order to win momentary love and affection" Circle:*** Negamaki BOARDUMB minorpane There's still time! GET YO ANSWERS IN! Also, I am getting DANGEROUSLY close to opening the vault juuuust enough to let you guys PEEK inside. Anyone who tries to stick their greedy body parts in prematurely will suffer for it and suffer dearly <3
I commend your spirit Lt Action, while the lack of a fantastic contest dissapoints me, NOPZ will be worth it
Someone liekz me?!?!?! Hooray! I'm also wondering what the new scope of NOPZ is, if it's going to be so stuffed with awesomeness that our iphones (or ipods) will explode upon launching the app.
Ohmuhgawd, another member of the Circle of Love and Playful Touching™!! SO excited! Those with a weak stomach best be turning your heads, cuz it's about to get weird in here. THREE dragons!!!! Two very important questions that I must know immediately: 1) Is he wearing pants? 2) Is the reflection wearing pants? I think I speak for mostly everyone when I say I'd feel a WHOLE lot more comfortable with this screenshot if I knew that there was no pants wearing involved. Then we can get to the part where the maggots eat away his face and he tears off his own jaw. AMIONTOSOMETHING?? drelbs, there isn't a mountain top that's high enough for me to shout my love for you. Every drelbs post in every drelbs visited thread is full of winner winner chicken breakfast. I <3 this song. I <3 you. I'm in NOWAYWHATSOEVER disappointed if NOPZ takes a little longer to bake in the oven. In fact, it excites my public and private parts alike just thinking about how much more radicalness is going to be squozen from that extra 90% of SkyVu's collective brain. Yes, I'm ignoring the little red squiggle under "squozen". As for the meaning of NOPZ, I had put together quite a list of possibilities some time back, and then inadvertently flushed them down the toilet by carelessly closing my browser window. The one thing that I'm sure of, is NOPZ is a prequel of some kind. It's Battle Bears NEGATIVE ONE. That means it takes place BEFORE Battle Bears POSITIVE ONE (or Battle Bears Zero, depending on how much of a math nerd you wanna be about it). I'll try to resurrect as many NOPZ names as I can from my slowly dying brain mush: Near Orbit Panguard Zalliance Narcotic Oliver Prescribes Zoloft Now, Onto Psychotic Zaniness Never Offer Pterodactyls Zima (you will regret it) Nude Orphans Pillage Zanzibar Need Our Pants Zipped Nerdy Ostriches Prefer Zoos Necrophilia Of Painted Zebras Never Outdone Perfection: Zapped! (perfect in that it sparked off a Scott Baio/Willie Aames relationship that would last nearly a decade in the form of Charles in Charge *sigh* nostalgia) Nong O Pong Zong Nanotechnology Organophosphorus Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis Zoroastrianism Nothing Outlandish Pleases Ziggy Namasté, Orangoutangs, Practice Zen Nasty Outhouses Plague Zeus Nobody Offers People Zilch Nanny One, Parents Zero Nancy Owns Patricia's Zucchini Ok, there was probably a few dozen more before, mostly nonsensical and equally unamusing, but I'll have to stop here. I'm hoping that at least ONE of these words is right, and slowly but surely we can uncover the hidden meaning behind NOPZ.
Well I think NO in NOPZ is negative one cuz wen u turn battle bears on it says battle bears -1 coming this spring
NEGATIVE ONE PLANT ZOMBIES?! (Note: This is different from plants AND zombies, this is a mixture). OHTHEHORROR! To even have NONE of these is terrifying enough but NEGATIVE ONE OF THESE?! Men, er, Bears, this is a battle we might not survive. For those of you who want to go say, say goodbye to your family, make love to your wife, drink beer, eat one last cheeseburger, yadda yadda yadda, do so now. The rest of you, the REAL Battle Bears, pick up your gun and let's vaporize some goddamn plant zombies.
Zombies are old hat. I'm calling it right now, the next big new wave to hit the iTunes store will be Olympic Curling. Ya'll just don't know is your problem. You spend all day here, talking about the undead releasing the sweet and salty grey matter from the skulls of the living when all this sweet ice sweeping, rock nudging action is UNFOLDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU. NOPZ actually stands for "Not Onother Pricey Zombie (Game: No, This One is About Olympic Curling)". In our new game, Oliver must must carefully nudge a stone across the hog line as other Battle Bears carefully use their brooms to clear the ice and diminish the amount of curl in the thrown stone. In an epic battle to defeat the Huggables, Oliver's stones must carefully block, nudge and push those of the Huggables to win the gold. Suffice to say that Oliver has an impressive set of stones. No, he is not. Alright Boys and Also Boys, it's time to re-update the contest standings. Speaking of standings, you're all standing in very close proximity to my pleasure zone- and I love it <3 Serial Bear Super Sleuth CSI (Details on page 1- Contest ends April 2nd). Fogfun (3rd): BABABOOM- 6 correct! Has anyone ever told you that you have a very nice process of elimination/trial and error? <3 aznriceboi13 (5th try): FOUR correct. Couple moar and YOUGOTIT. deiden26 (6th try): It's okay, some of us develop a little later in life than others, but, the important thing is you've finally blossomed <3 hollerbee: FOUR correct. HOTDAMN you almost had it! D: Will090 (3rd try): SIX CORRECT! OHMYGODMARRYME! Ace 97 (2nd try): TWO correct this time. COMPARE AND CONTRAST! evilhomer (3rd try):SIX CORRECT! Woo to the oot! WELL DONE, SIR! minorpane (3rd try): What number starts with "correct" and ends in "victory"? That's right, YOU RaptorF35: ONE correct. Hey, it's a start Whosatm: FOUR correct. WHOANELLY. drelbs (3rd try): Third try IS a charm. The coyest, charmiest sonuvagunnumber there ever was <3 ImNoSuperMan: THREE correct. Well played, madam. Bag Of Awesome: THREE correct. What a popular number, that 3. Get 3 MORE right and we'll talk ;D pajo_ojap: FOUR right? You've got to be pulling my muscly, ideal, well oiled leg. WINNERS CIRCLE... Er, POTENTIAL Winner's Circle: evilhomer Fogfun Will090 minorpane deiden26 drelbs The "I have no idea what you're talking about but I have a need to please everyone in order to win momentary love and affection" Circle:*** Negamaki BOARDUMB minorpane
Serial Bear Super Sleuth CSI (Details on page 1- Contest ends April 2nd). Fogfun (3rd): BABABOOM- 6 correct! Has anyone ever told you that you have a very nice process of elimination/trial and error? <3 aznriceboi13 (5th try): FOUR correct. Couple moar and YOUGOTIT. deiden26 (6th try): It's okay, some of us develop a little later in life than others, but, the important thing is you've finally blossomed <3 hollerbee: FOUR correct. HOTDAMN you almost had it! D: Will090 (3rd try): SIX CORRECT! OHMYGODMARRYME! Ace 97 (3rd try): TWO correct AGAIN. No one ever said you weren't good and even numbers ;D evilhomer (3rd try):SIX CORRECT! Woo to the oot! WELL DONE, SIR! minorpane (3rd try): What number starts with "correct" and ends in "victory"? That's right, YOU RaptorF35: ONE correct. Hey, it's a start Whosatm: FOUR correct. WHOANELLY. drelbs (3rd try): Third try IS a charm. The coyest, charmiest sonuvagunnumber there ever was <3 ImNoSuperMan: THREE correct. Well played, madam. Bag Of Awesome: THREE correct. What a popular number, that 3. Get 3 MORE right and we'll talk ;D pajo_ojap: FOUR right? You've got to be pulling my muscly, ideal, well oiled leg. WINNERS CIRCLE... Er, POTENTIAL Winner's Circle: evilhomer Fogfun Will090 minorpane deiden26 drelbs The "I have no idea what you're talking about but I have a need to please everyone in order to win momentary love and affection" Circle:*** Negamaki BOARDUMB minorpane Also, I just got done working out, you know, getting out of my chair and doing things that you, for the most part, cannot do sitting down in front of the computer. That's not the best part, though. The workout jostled and gyrated my INTERIOR organs so much more than they are used to that I lost a little bit of what you might call social grace. Three times during my workout, I ripped three massive farts, each one more epic than the last. And it felt GREAT. Because I'm feeling so good about myself now and am nearly complete airing out my room with my industrial strength floor fan (Not kidding. This is the fan I have on as I slumber and I've only ever seen it in use in one other place. That being a Chinese buffet. "How were they using the fan?" you may be asking yourself because your imagination goes only as far as I let it- I will tell you- they were using this ONE fan to air out the ENTIRE restaurant. When I sleep I'm serious about my white noise.) that I will tell you a secret. I will tell you all a secret in the manner that I think an average PR rep would. I'm turning down my personality, convincing myself that leading you all along a red herring of insubstantial lulz bombs is not actually that amusing (false) and I will tell you something as a NORMAL Earth human. I will tell you what NOPZ actually stands for. For rizzo. The FULL title of "Battle Bears: NOPZ" IS- BUUUHHHHHHDDUMMMBUABDDUUH BUUUUTTTHHHHHHHHHHH BUTT HAHAHAHA, DID YOU ALL SEE WHEN I WROTE BUTT? Bet you didn't see that coming, unless you're skipping ahead like the jerks that stole their cousin's copy of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" off the table, read the last four pages and taunted them with knowledge they so badly wanted (Me). BUTT AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, no, seriously this time: BUT would you say that I am a liar at this point? Promising to reveal to you all the ACTUAL acronym of the game I've been harping about for over a month? You know what? I'm sorry. I always, ALWAYS do this. I promise myself I'm going to behave, I promise YOU I'm going to behave and then I let the world down. Like promising you all a fishing trip down at the lake cabin and then not going instead of just not telling you anything at all. It's always worse knowing. I feel like we're all learning life lessons all over the place. I feel like you're all my family... Like my REAL family. And like my real family, I am going to take every possible step to alienate myself from you. When you all come over for thanksgiving, I'm going to eat half of the stuffing before anyone of you gets here and stay in my room and play Pokemon. When you all want to come in and touch my stuff, I'll warn you that aliens know where you live and they hate it when you touch my things and then you'll all run out screaming cause you're 5. It's NOT an owl D: I'm feeling much better. The fan has been running full blast this entire time (It's such an extreme fan. Do you guys remember me telling you about it before? How it's really only meant to clear out buildings that have a capacity of at least 450? Did I tell you that it's SO extreme, it's settings aren't "0, 1, 2 and 3" they are "White, Grey, Dark Grey and BLACK" I told you, I'm serious about my fans). Anyway, the fan has been running (on Grey, mind you. When it's running on grey I can HEAR it from the floor above. I sleep with this emeffer on grey, people) and my room no longer wreaks of farts and stale sweat. "Battle Bears: NOPZ" stands for "Battle Bears: Negative One Point Zero". Yes it's a prequel and YES there are sweet secret nuggets grand enough to warrant us including the version in the actual name. WHAT COULD THAT MEAN!?
