Battle Bears NOPZ: Swag and Secrets (FINAL Door open) and A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT (pg 53)

I am sitting here, in my chair, shovel globs of disappointment into my gaping maw with my Enlarged Spoon of Sorrow.

TWO people have posted scores? Don't let Whosatm's strange knack for popping heads off of pinks like dandelions deter you!

I am not your average demi god. If people don't believe, don't pour their hearts and souls into my massive ego, then I fade away :C

I've already gotten all the amusement I think I can get out of a semitransparent transparent hands. My childhood wish of playing with sweet action figures without having the ACTION obscured by my hands is finally a reality.

But this isn't how I wanted it.

Not this way ;____;

My life is in your grubby, stinking hands <3

 

Oh you guys )@u@(

The damsel within me is thoroughly seduced and quite randy. Keep up the good work and by "the good work" I mean "doing the things I said because I said it".

I work in mysterious ways, as some have said. The same some have alway been handsomely rewarded for their unflinching devotion to me.

As will you <3

For once, I am without an answer >:f

No wait, I have one: This is BALLS. I have no idea why our game keeps getting knocked off the site like that... I have no idea what's going on >:C

IN LIGHT of the facebook's recent failure, I am extending the contest INTO THURSDAY to compensate for time lost while facebook searches itself for it's own caboose.

Dear facebook, I think I found it. Your caboose, I mean. I think it's on the end of my boot. Kindly remove it, please.

 

D:

SOMETHING has gone VERY wrong... Or very right, depending on a number of your own personal persuasions.

At any rate, things have taken a TURN for the very different and equally as secret.

What is that, you ask? Why, that's something that shall be revealed in due time.

IMPORTANT NOTES:

#1: WHOOAAAWAITASECOND WHAT'S GOING ON!?
#2: The current contest has been extended a week due to Facebooks shenanigans.
#3: The NEW contest will run for two weeks.

Give me a FEW MINUTES and I'll be right back :I

 

March 18th, 2010

Mother Sleuthing Gumshoes!



Above is a line up taken from the archive of the Intergalactic Peace Enforcement Federation. YOUR job is to correctly identify which bear committed which crime/s.

I will give you a list of every charge against each bear and YOU must correctly match every offense to the proper bear. CAPICHEOKAYHEREITOGES


A: Insurance fraud, tax evasion and multiple counts of homicide.
B:Theft by unlawful taking, vandalism and property damage and public indecency.
C:Arson, grand theft auto, resisting arrest, 16 counts of 1st degree murder, impersonating an officer, theft by unlawful taking, 146 accounts of assault.
D:Impersonating an officer and public indecency.
E:Theft by unlawful taking, double homicide and being effing crazy.
F:Triple Homicide and resisting arrest.

PM Me their numbers matched with the appropriate letters. I will tell you ONLY how many you got right ;D

Thing is, I know exactly what each of these sexy badboys did so, if you want to ask me a question about their respective crimes, I reserve the right to answer as vaguely as I please.

Everyone to successfully solve this "puzzle" goes into the drawing on April 1st.

NAMASTE and, GOOD LUCK.

I REPEAT! The facebook contest will run for one more week and this NEW CONTEST will end on the 1st

 

I WILL answer questions, and I will get around yo answering them when I have MOAR time tomorrow.

BUT, three of you have PM'd me and I have THREE results ;D

Fogfun: ZERO correct ;D Believe it or not, I foresaw the possibility that people would guess ABCDEF. NICETRYTHOUGHOLLOLOLOOL.
aznriceboi13: THREE correct.
deiden26: TWO correct.

Here's the deal. To solve the problem, you have a few choices.

#1: GO MAVERICK and keep trying on your own until you win one for NUMBER 1.
#2: Correspond with the other acting detectives over PM, coordinate and cooperate until you each come to a final conclusion and BOTH/ALL of you are entered into the drawing.
#3: Discuss here publicly and risk people getting into the drawing while you simultaneously increase your chances of successfully completing the puzzle SWIFTLY.

The above goes for asking questions. Ask me over PM OR ask here for everyone to see.

LIVE OR DIE- MAKE YOUR CHOICE.

And now. HINT: For those of you that guessed, NONE OF YOU got The Joker correct. I thought that one would be the easiest :C I am severely disappoint.

ALSO, I shall, once a day, drop phat clues about ONE BEAR like it hott.
GOOD LUCK

 

Post up that high score ya honky! You could win a Golden Ticket! Whydidntyouthinkofthat?Geez!

Also )@u@( So many of you responding already and ONE of you almost got it on your first go D:

UPDATED GUESSES:

Fogfun (2nd): ONE correct. That's one better than last time
aznriceboi13: THREE correct.
deiden26 (2nd): TWO correct AGAIN.
hollerbee: FOUR correct. HOTDAMN you almost had it! D:
Will090: THREE correct. Not too shabby ;D

PROTIPx2: Only ONE of you got The Joker's rap sheet correctly placed this time ;D

Geeez, if you guys just WORKED TOGETHER you'd all be in the drawing by now ;D

 

UPDATED GUESSES:

Fogfun (2nd): ONE correct. That's one better than last time
aznriceboi13 (2nd): THREE correct once again. You're so good at the number 3.
deiden26 (3rd try): TWO correct a THIRD time. Way to be consistent ;D
hollerbee: FOUR correct. HOTDAMN you almost had it! D:
Will090: THREE correct. Not too shabby ;D
Ace 97: THREE correct. Way to get your answers half full you starry eyed optimist *u*
evilhomer: THREE correct.Not bad for your first time that'swhatshesaid.
minorpane: THREE correct. ALMOST the same as evilhomer. Hmmmmm.

Moar hints.

I will answer a couple of questions people have had HERE:
#1: Public indecency means being naked enough in public to offend old people.
#2: You do not NEED clues to solve them- if you think abstractly, you can profile these bears like a good American citizen.

HINT TIEM!:
-THREE of them are based on serial killers. If you knew which killers went for which bears, you'd be able to answer E correctly with no problem ;D

-Number five is a REAL BEAR. No Battle Electronic persuasion whatsoever. You may also find the Battle Bears' life sized proportions interesting and thought provoking too, eh?

-This hint may not help you out too much but ONE of the bears is falsely accused (at least by his own customs) and is very, very eager to get back to what he was doing.

Now, lets learn a little bit about David, Bear #1.

David is a highly disturbed bear, although the law would argue that he is mentally fit for a trial should he ever have to stand in one. Luckily for the legal system, David gave them four VERY good reasons to put him on trial.

David acquired mild to severe mental distress caused by fried inner circuitry that came about as a result of David's affinity for staring directly into the sun and attempting to count how many suns he was actually looking at (the answer was always "1" but faulty fundamental programming prevented his satisfaction with this answer). In his altered state, he became convinced that every lamp in his apartment wanted to marry him. David was never really a ladies man and became confused, a little aroused, and extremely angry. He began tearing up his apartment which was a great shame for David had some really great furniture including, but not limited to, AbraxCo Intergalactic Furnishings' Organic Self Servicing Sentient Love Seat (OSSSLS- registered and considered a legitimate form of life), a couch that thinks, speaks and loves all on its own will. The couch tragically perished in the rampage.

During the outburst, David's dead beat brother Sal let himself into the building with the intent of bumming a few bucks off of David. He instead bummed one count of MURDER from him as David's beefy arms struck Sal's head from his shoulders in one deft swipe (which would have been easily avoided if Sal wasn't programmed to to appear, think and live very, very slowly). In one final cathartic expression of anger and pent up frustration, David struck himself in the head with a rigid floor lamp.

David remained relatively unharmed by this as his sturdy construction was made to absorb impact. The lamp, however, died from internal bleeding.

Well before the end of his tantrum, his neighbor called the IPEF, the only organization that has authority in this part of the galaxy. It took three officers to bring David down and four more to subdue him in special Riot Control Swaddling Blankets until he was calm enough to be lulled into a deep sleep.

David was quietly transferred to the IPEF orbiting Super Jail and is still there to this day, awaiting trial.


You guys could solve this SO EASY. DON'T GIVE UP.

Do it for me <3