Link: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/the-procession-to-calvary/id1533450600 The Procession to Calvary Joe Richardson Games Pilfer from pirates, conspire with cardinals and perform miracles with an incompetent magician. The Procession to Calvar… $3.99 Buy Now Watch Media DetailsPilfer from pirates, conspire with cardinals and perform miracles with an incompetent magician. The Procession to Calvary is a Pythonesque adventure game made from Renaissance paintings, and a spiritual successor to the critically acclaimed Four Last Things. Huzzah! The holy war is over! Your oppressors have been vanquished, the churches of the Old God lay in ruin and thousands of innocent people have been murdered! But it's not all good news; the tyrant Heavenly Peter has escaped your clutches, and you have been tasked with the mission of finding him... Your journey will take you through a richly detailed landscape built from hundreds of different Renaissance paintings. You will steal a ship, feed a donkey, compete in a talent contest, assist an inept street magician, sing, dance, laugh, poke a man's face, hunt for treasure and have a chat with Our Lord God Almighty... But will you find Heavenly Peter? And if you do, how will you take your revenge!? Features: Pointing and Clicking – A traditional point and click interface, with a 'verb coin' interaction menu and a simple inventory from which you can drag and drop your preciously hoarded items. Renaissance Artwork – Paintings by Rembrandt, Botticelli, Michelangelo and many more are brought together into one consistent world, in a way that is also as sympathetic as possible to the original works. Classical Music – a soundtrack selected to fit with the style of the artwork. Music from classical composers such as Vivaldi, Bach and George Frideric Handel will accompany you on your journey. Standalone Story - The Procession to Calvary is set in the same world as Four Last Things, but it's story can be played independently. Optional Murder – You will be equipped with a sword. This will become useful in a number of different situation, but you will be strongly discouraged from using it on people. Ignoring this advice - and murdering anyone who stands in your way – will serve as a useful method of skipping any puzzles you don't like. But be warned; your actions might come back to haunt you... Nonsense – Surreal, anarchic comedy. Lofty subject matter is treated with refreshing flippancy. Gags about butts are taken very seriously. But rest assured, while some of the jokes may be ridiculous, the puzzles make perfect sense! (or at least adhere to a consistent internal logic) Moments of Surprising Profundity – Actually, no... Don't read too much into it. Information Seller:Joe Richardson Games Genre:Adventure, Puzzle Release:Dec 11, 2020 Updated:Dec 11, 2020 Version:1.0 Size:2.2 GB TouchArcade Rating:Unrated User Rating:Unrated Your Rating:unrated Compatibility:HD Universal Subscribe to the TouchArcade YouTube channel Brightsiderus Well-Known Member Feb 1, 2017 2,234 540 113 #2 Brightsiderus, Dec 11, 2020 Seems to have really unique visual style. squarezero Moderator Staff Member Patreon Silver Dec 10, 2008 13,716 1,240 113 Male Chief Strategy Officer Salem, Massachusetts, USA #3 squarezero, Dec 11, 2020 For context, this game was rejected by Apple for “violence,” but then approved the next day after the developer appealed the decision. Clearly they’re going for a Monty Python expertise and someone at Apple didn’t get it. Skall Well-Known Member Oct 25, 2009 500 60 28 #4 Skall, Dec 12, 2020 Looks unique! Very interested Brightsiderus Well-Known Member Feb 1, 2017 2,234 540 113 #5 Brightsiderus, Dec 12, 2020 I know that squarezero Moderator Staff Member Patreon Silver Dec 10, 2008 13,716 1,240 113 Male Chief Strategy Officer Salem, Massachusetts, USA #6 squarezero, Dec 12, 2020 Glad you do. When I said “for context” I meant for general readers, not you specifically. Brightsiderus Well-Known Member Feb 1, 2017 2,234 540 113 #7 Brightsiderus, Dec 13, 2020 Well, you quoted me, lol nkarafo Well-Known Member Mar 2, 2011 864 14 18 #8 nkarafo, Dec 17, 2020 Disgusting game! I know it is a parody but judging from trailer and screenshots, this should not be the case! It is not right to humiliate a religion, eg Christianity, God and also the Christians martyrs who suffered with their lives. If someone does not believe, ok, this is his own problem, not ours but they don't have to make a game showing this stuff. This is not about violence and blood which I don't care, it's about making fun of Christians and GOD Himself! They should be ashamed of this and Apple should have banned the app. psj3809 Moderator Jan 13, 2011 12,971 722 113 England #9 psj3809, Dec 17, 2020 Amusing the post above. Haven’t tried this game but looks quite amusing. May give it a go. Satire can upset some people for sure but glad the vast majority seem okay with it Brightsiderus Well-Known Member Feb 1, 2017 2,234 540 113 #10 Brightsiderus, Dec 17, 2020 Nobody is making fun of god and religion in this game. Four Last Things, previous game by Joe, yeah. Collin likes this. Collin Well-Known Member Jul 29, 2010 719 46 28 Graphic Designer/Illustrator/Art Director Colorado Springs, CO https://www.theislandsofmisfitcreativity.com/ #11 Collin, Dec 17, 2020 Last edited: Dec 17, 2020 (removed my post) Life is too short to get worked up about this. I bought the game and look forward to enjoying it, blasphemy (if present) and all. metalcasket likes this. metalcasket Moderator Staff Member Patreon Silver Patreon Gold Patreon Bronze May 24, 2010 11,065 1,342 113 Deepest Circle, Hel #12 metalcasket, Dec 18, 2020 I hath seen your past timeline (perks of being a mod, I guess ) and it was a damn good one. Yeah, I also posted something prior but decided it wasn't worth opening that door. Collin likes this. Collin Well-Known Member Jul 29, 2010 719 46 28 Graphic Designer/Illustrator/Art Director Colorado Springs, CO https://www.theislandsofmisfitcreativity.com/ #13 Collin, Dec 18, 2020 Thank you. It just seemed like a hornets nest that wasn't worth kicking at this time. I haven't gotten far in the game, only played to just past the conversation with the new ruler, but I'm really enjoying it. No overt blasphemy yet, but I'll keep an eye out. metalcasket likes this. (You must log in or sign up to post here.) 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For context, this game was rejected by Apple for “violence,” but then approved the next day after the developer appealed the decision. Clearly they’re going for a Monty Python expertise and someone at Apple didn’t get it.
Disgusting game! I know it is a parody but judging from trailer and screenshots, this should not be the case! It is not right to humiliate a religion, eg Christianity, God and also the Christians martyrs who suffered with their lives. If someone does not believe, ok, this is his own problem, not ours but they don't have to make a game showing this stuff. This is not about violence and blood which I don't care, it's about making fun of Christians and GOD Himself! They should be ashamed of this and Apple should have banned the app.
Amusing the post above. Haven’t tried this game but looks quite amusing. May give it a go. Satire can upset some people for sure but glad the vast majority seem okay with it
(removed my post) Life is too short to get worked up about this. I bought the game and look forward to enjoying it, blasphemy (if present) and all.
I hath seen your past timeline (perks of being a mod, I guess ) and it was a damn good one. Yeah, I also posted something prior but decided it wasn't worth opening that door.
Thank you. It just seemed like a hornets nest that wasn't worth kicking at this time. I haven't gotten far in the game, only played to just past the conversation with the new ruler, but I'm really enjoying it. No overt blasphemy yet, but I'll keep an eye out.