As I write, I often consider whether or not my take on a game might be biased. For instance, I am clearly going to adore the idea of a game where I get to pilot a flying catmobile that spits screaming mice at grumbly enemies over a real-time war simulation. On that note, Don’t Run With a Plasma Sword [$0.99] is clearly the kind of game that I gravitate towards — its comic-inspired, it features an alien invasion, I’m basically running around with a lightsaber, and its got that modern retro feeling. In other words, I’m already smiling at the prospect. Biased? Maybe just a bit.
That being said, if a game sucks, it doesn’t get my stamp of approval no matter how many hallmarks of my tastes it contains. I’m happy to report that Don’t Run With a Plasma Sword not only features really cool, kitschy themes and humor, but it’s actually a hell of a lot of fun to play as well.
You play the role of Cornelius in this side-scroller, a comic store employee who is suddenly faced with an alien invasion. What better time than now to fulfill his dream of becoming a hero? And so, trusty plasma sword in hand, he goes bounding through the world taking out robots and saving the world. Not such a bad career, although the pay is more about looking cool than rolling in the greenbacks.
The game is on rails, so your only responsibilities will be to make Cornelius jump, slide and swing his sword as he runs through each level. Doing so is very pleasant as the buttons along the sides of your screen are very responsive, and you’ll lose yourself right into the action as you jam out to the appropriately wacky “alien invasion" music. Each level has lots of stuff to dodge and also lots of cool powerups, which will you give you powers like a shield so you can take an extra hit or a sword powerup that lets you fling a charge attack at the robots.
By adding levels and bosses to the basic endless running formula, Don’t Run With a Plasma Sword turns out a pretty appealing package. As you make your way through the city and the factory levels to finally reach the mothership , you’ll collect stars which give you XP (along with killing enemies and completing levels). When you finally die, you will get a chance to use the XP points you earn to level up your skills, unlock story and endless levels early if you like, or even buying snazzy clothes for your character. This system gives you a bit of a reward after you die, so instead of that feeling of drudgery you get when playing other running games and dying over and over, this one weathers that out well by giving you a little break before you get back to it.
In-App purchases are also an option, but they are in the game in a very low key way (they are accessible in the same menu where you can buy power-ups with your XP). What I liked most about the way this was presented was that you didn’t feel like you were losing out if you didn’t spend real life money, because in the same menu there was all this other stuff to choose from that you could earn from actual gameplay.
Now, that’s just Story Mode. Endless Mode is also available, and adds in little missions that challenge you to run a certain distance or that sort of thing. I had more fun in story mode, but overall I still found this mode challenging and worthwhile as well. Don’t Run With a Plasma Sword is also compatible with OpenFeint, Game Center, Facebook and Twitter, so you pretty much have every way you can possibly think of to share your scores with your friends at your fingertips.
From presentation to gameplay to overall fun factor, Don’t Run With a Plasma Sword simply shines. It’s got distinctive character and a great sense of humor. It’s also a treat to look at — great design, excellent color. Do I sound biased now, or what? Seriously, though, that whole Mars Attacks formula really works here, especially with a dash of comic book inspiration thrown in. I have a feeling you’ll be enjoying this title for some time, and it’ll be one of those that you keep on coming back to.
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Absolutely ridiculous how this BROKEN infinity blade 2 is on top with 5 stars while COD: BO Zombies received 3.5 stars because it lacks content and online is laggy and yet somehow losing saved-games and constant crashing of IB2 earns it 5 solid stars.
It's one thing when 12 year old fanboys rate anything 5 stars, but it's really a poignant scene when so-called professional game journalists are doing the same.
I remember how Shadow Gun was torn to pieces when reviewed due to bugs and yet another game can have worst bugs but still get a free 5 star pass.
Perhaps their review copy didn't have the bug. Or maybe they didn't have full iPad/iPod 4th gens so never experienced the bug.
Their review is their experience of the game at the time of the review.
I haven't had a single problem with Infinity Blade 2! I think what we're seeing is a remarkably vocal minority. If the crash problems are anywhere near as widespread as people seem to think, Infinity Blade 2 wouldn't have such a high average score on iTunes as I promise you it's the absolute first place people would go to complain.
I am one of the people who lost a save game file, and I got my complaint in on iTunes alright, but I definitely see what you mean. I am absolutely furious about the bug since that's really the one kind of bug a game absolutely cannot have. If you look at any review on any site, however, I've yet to see any mention of errors anywhere in any review. I think its safe to say Epic didn't buy the internet, so the errors must be only for a few very unlucky people like myself. It makes sense for people like me to be furious. It doesn't make sense for people like me to expect you to change your review score to include errors you haven't encountered.
I rarely have app issues. I've been fortunate in that way. That said, IB 1 and 2 *constantly* crash on my 64 GB iPad 1. Those are the only 2 apps that crash every single time no matter what I try. Now, Epic suggests that the issue has to do with having "too many apps" and that iOS has to cache all of those icon images in the iPad 1's limited memory space to make for a smooth UI experience. OK. Makes sense...until I ran into another poster here that says he's down to 90 apps on his iPad 1 and it still crashes at launch?!
Now, don't get me wrong...I'm a big fan of Epic and I have bought so many of their games over the years. I was even an outside beta tester for Epic when they were called Epic MegaGames (on the Epic Pinball series). So, I bear Epic no ill will. It's just that I'd like to get this solved already. I'd be happy to send crash logs, but Epic hasn't even asked for those. So, given that this is an issue on BOTH IB games (for me), I'm not holding my breath that I'll ever see a patch that'll work for me.
It's fine if this never works on iPad 1, but then at least say that this is really geared toward A5 chipset devices. How this warrants 5 stars when there are known issues is astonishing to me.
It's funny that you say that. Go take a look at IB2's twitter feed. A vocal minority is one thing, but a majority is another. This looks like the latter.
Look at this thread itself. Not many games that are this bad.
It's obvious something fishy is going on.
IB2 isn't broken for me, either. I haven't had a single problem running the game on my 4S. Have to agree with Hodapp on this one.
IB works fine on A5-based devices with 512 MB RAM, but crashes constantly on my iPad 1.
Sorry, I wasn't trying to imply that it isn't broken for a certain group of folks (the non-A5 crowd). Just reading the "BROKEN" comment here, and a lot of the comments in the IB2 thread, you'd think that IB2 didn't work at all, when in fact it does, it just matters what side of the fence you are on. :-)
I hope Chair can sort this mess out. Unfortunately, I think they are really hitting limitations of older hardware. Assuming there will be an IB3, I'll be curious to see if they try to support older devices, or say screw it to avoid this mess again. Now that doesn't include the save game bug which would affect any hardware. Fortunately, it hasn't struck me!
Infinity Blade 2 is fixed now, and not everyone likes first person shooters.
In before someone says Epic paid us off.
No. I'm certain that Epic hasn't paid anyone off. I just think that reviewers are using 512 MB A5-based iOS devices. In that scenario, everything works well. Not necessarily so in other environments.
Needs 1GB. 512MB is still really easy to use up more than half on just OS background processes and basic apps like Mail, Phone, Messaging.
Well, just to stir the things up a little, I remembered that I downloaded IB2 as soon as I could; and that was on December 1st :-). So is IB2 a November game after all ? ;-)
Ha. Nah, this column covers the games reviewed in November. IB2 is one of those.
It's a bummer that iPad Only gets lumped in here because now I have to sift through apps that only support one piece of hardware. iPad only should get its own review section. Plenty of other apps that can be played on all (or at least non-ancient) iOS platforms could have been on this list.