Dabadu Games is working on an interesting little platformer called It’s Full of Sparks. The game has you playing as a firework that’s trying not to explode. Exploding, not good for anyone trying to stay alive. So, these fireworks have to get into a body of water before they blow up. However, these fireworks get magical sunglasses that shade their perception of the world, and are necessary to help them get to safety in one piece. Different-colored glasses will need to be activated in order to make certain platforms and obstructions appear or disappear, as you can only run from side to side. No jumping here!
It’s Full of Sparks promises some unique platforming action as you have to use this color-shifting mechanic in combination with acting very quickly due to the fuse on your dynamite character running down. There are a bunch of different designs for every time you respawn, which is just an adorable touch for this game. If you want to try this out for yourself and provide feedback, the developer is accepting beta testers in our forums.

While everything you said is 100% accurate I cant help but like these weird games IF pull out...
Ive grown up in an age where everyone was showing off their gaming accomplishment to their friends, a lot of the games were designed in weird ways and a lot of the unlockables were found randomly, which is what often happen in those titles.
They are very grindy but I usually only play 30 ish minutes a day and complete one within a year or so, I just... I dunno why i like them.
That being said BS:A definitely is the weakest entry on iOS, Agarest War Zero is much better, spectral souls and agarest war are decent IMO.
The whole "look for the next objective with currency" thing is truly poor design, much more poorer than everything else Idea Factory has ever done.
please don't hate me, but these games are super boring!