I have a question: What would you get if you crossed an antelope with a human baby? I have no idea. No one does. One more question: What if you crossed one of those Puzzle & Dragons (Free) style social RPGs with Mario Kart? Hey, I actually have an answer for that! You’d get KKRacing (Free) by Beijing Kaku All-dimensional Media Co. That may sound like an awful combination, but it’s actually pretty good. And loads more fun than a babylope.

So, yes. KKRacing is very, very free-to-play. It’s got timers, upgrades to buy, daily events to complete, multiple currencies, etc. It’s a very specific brand of “freemium”, like Taichi Panda (Free) or Dungeon Link (Free), so if you’ve played those you know exactly what you’re getting into. Personally, I played both of those games for at least a month without needing to spend anything so this particular pay model doesn’t bother me that much. In fact, you could argue it’s part of the fun. (There’s a reason these sorts of games are so insanely popular in Asian countries.)

If that last paragraph made you want to vomit, I can just about guarantee nothing further down is going to convince you, so you can probably stop reading. For everyone else, I hope you also happen to like cheap Mario Kart knock-offs. That may sound a bit harsh, because let’s face it: no similar game on iOS has ever come anywhere close to being as fun and well-made as a Mario Kart game. As far as iOS kart racers go, though, this one isn’t too shabby at all.

It’s actually quite a bit like Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed (Free), in terms of visuals and general feel. It’s very cartoony and goofy, with all the vehicles being sort of rounded and boxy. However, it does take a few things directly from Mario Kart itself, like the two-boost-drift system, several of the sound effects, and even the shape of the spinning power-up cubes. Basically what I’m saying is, the kart racing does absolutely nothing to stand out or be original in any way. That said, it works. It works really damn well, and it’s fun.

The thing that makes the game stand out, then, is the P&D-style RPG junk thrown on top. (Or you could view it the other way around: the only way the game stands out from other social RPG’s is the fact that it has kart racing.) The basic gameplay loop consists of choosing a career race, winning or losing, and then using what you’ve earned to swap out your vehicle parts for better ones. (Of course, more often than that you’ll be enhancing or combining different parts, as is the norm for this style of free RPG.) Each career race has three different objectives to complete: one main goal (get x amount of kills, place in the top 3, defeat the boss, etc.) and two secondary goals.

Rounding things out are several other non-career modes and daily quests to earn more currency and parts. There’s even online multiplayer, and it works pretty well. In fact, one of the main issues I have with other kart racers on iOS (like Sonic) is the lack of players online, and it’s a little sad that this rather generic free-to-play racer has no trouble at all finding opponents. Basically, you’ll never run out of different things to do in the game–at least until you run out of fuel and are forced to wait, of course.

Beyond the fact that the game seems completely allergic to new ideas (other than the basic mash-up at its core), there are a few other small problems I ran into. On more than one occasion I had new parts disappear on me when I tried to enhance them (“Other Reason: 5212" the dialogue box explains helpfully). It might be a problem with syncing back to the server, but whatever the reason, it sucks. The other minor issue is that sometimes the graphics can be kinda wonky. For example, I was about to race one of the bosses when I noticed he was floating about a foot above his seat. Odd.

I’m just about ready to wrap this review up, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t at least give a passing mention to the English translations in this game. It’s some of the worst I’ve ever seen, and it makes for some hilariously absurd dialogue. I feel like it should be a huge negative (especially since it’s almost impossible to figure out what they were trying to say at some points) but it often comes out so ridiculous that I actually began to look forward to the story sections. No joke, I have like 20 screenshots on my iPad right now of some of my favorite lines. Here’s a good one: “Hey? Do not go ah? The horse is God. Smart Wings????"

I’m gonna be honest: I don’t know how many people in our readership are going to go for a free-to-play kart racing RPG. Especially one that’s pretty generic in it’s racing and RPG-ing. Here’s the thing, though. KKRacing’s actually really fun. The racing is a blast and the free-to-play stuff didn’t bother me too much. I love checking in throughout the day and completing quests, upgrading everything, and getting slightly further in the career mode. Just like my time with Taichi Panda and Dungeon Link (and Terra Battle (Free), Dragon Coins (Free), and Fable Age (Free) before them), I’ll probably start losing interest after a month or so. Until then, though, I’m really digging this. If you’ve made it this far in the review, maybe you’ll dig it, too.