Category Archives: 1 star

After finally earning enough jewels to hire a third imp, I booted up Dungeon Keeper [Free] and found the price had gone up by a good measure. Welcome to the dungeon, keeper. It has been determined that previous training exercises for prospective evil lords, released for computers, were 87% too satisfying and 100% too entertaining. Not to worry, however, as some of the underworld's most diabolical minds have been working double overtime (unpaid, naturally) to ensure that keeper cadets will enjoy themselves as little as possible in the new mobile version of the simulator. Personally, I think they've outdone themselves...

Square-Enix gets a lot of flak about their various ports and remakes of their games. Whether it's graphical alterations, remixed soundtracks, translation changes, or added material, seemingly anything ends up being fodder for those who want to tell the company that they broke the game in question. I'm not going to say whether or not I feel people are justified in those complaints, but I think that anyone who plays Namco's latest port of Tales of Phantasia [Free] is going to walk away with some new perspective on what exactly breaking a game entails. What has happened here is more than a little gross, and while I have my issues with the original game, it did not deserve this little Frankenstein experiment gone wrong...

'Madden NFL 25' Review - An Incredibly Disappointing Display of Football and Freemium

Being a somewhat enthusiastic football fan, I was excited when I heard that Madden NFL 25 [Free] would see a release on iOS. Unfortunately, any excitement was quickly extinguished when I fired up the game and realized this would not be anything like its console brethren. Instead, Madden 25 for iOS fully embraces its freemium roots, offering an experience that all but the most hardcore fans should avoid...

When we first heard that Square Enix would be releasing a new retro-based Final Fantasy, I was excited to see if we'd end up with another adventure similar to Final Fantasy: Dimensions [Free]. Unfortunately, Final Fantasy: All the Bravest [Free] is as far away from such a title as you  can possibly imagine. Focusing entirely on simplified battles, Final Fantasy: ATB is less of a game and more of a blatant attempt to extort cash from a weary fan base for a brief glimpse of nostalgia...

The Dark Passenger is definitely not to everyone’s taste. The celebration of murder and violence that permeates the Dexter TV show and books can turn both the stomach and head of those who don’t share a guilty desire to see brutal justice administered with the edge of a razor blade, so Dexter the Game 2 [$0.99] was always going to have a limited audience...

Curiosity: What’s Inside the Cube? [Free] is crowd-sourced pixel-poking. The app presents you with a gigantic cube. Think of it as a birthday gift: a cube comprised of layers and layers of smaller cubes. You kerplode the cubes by simply touching them. At the center of the cube is a secret, and there’s no telling how many licks it’ll take the world to get to its chewy, mysterious center...

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