This was posted on April Fool's day

We've often received criticism from readers that they're tired of paying too little for games on the App Store. When you own a piece of premium electronics like the iPhone, the iPod touch, or even the iPad, scrubbing around for price drop alerts and freebie Fridays just seems so... passé. If you consider yourself among the App Store elite, consider playing these games which bring new meaning to the phrase "premium pricing" whilst sunning yourself on your yacht this weekend:

Buddy Repperton Gold, $49.99 - Why simply play a sports game when you can bet real world money on them instead? Well, with the help of Buddy Reperton you're going to be getting the hottest, most elite, premium sports picks in the land.

Crossword Pro Service Update, $99.99 - The developers warn that this hundred dollar version of Crossword Pro [$6.99] is just an update to an existing app, but we all know that isn't true. Why restrict yourself to the crossword game of the proles when you can opt to spend substantially more money on a better, premium game experience?

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This was posted on April Fool's day

A lot of great games explore the idea of loss and the tragedy that can come as a result of losing something. The world’s greatest shooter, Crysis, for example, is directionless title with a limp narrative. Its design forces users to experience regret and grief as they travel around a lifeless open-world devoid of contextual clues or activities. Playing the game is experiencing loss first hand, since when compared to other shooters, Crysis lacks brick-and-mortar, taken-for-granted elements like goals, end points, or basic level design.

But how many games deal with finding -- finding that thing that is lost? I can’t think of a single one except Find the Rabbit [$1.99] for the iPad, iPod Touch, and Mac App Store. Alas, it’s not a good game.

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This was posted on April Fool's day

I ran across what looked to be a little gem of a game in the App Store recently called Netflix [Free]. After a quick perusal of the screenshots, I quickly downloaded this free universal app. I was shocked at how many different titles it contained across many genres, easily trumping even the best all-in-one game box games on the App Store. Unfortunately, my experience with Netflix has been abysmal, and is akin to a bait-and-switch scam which should have never been allowed in the App Store.

To be fair, Netflix does contain an impressive list of titles. As I searched through the library of available games I came across such gems as BloodRayne, House of the Dead, Postal, Doom, and many, many more. My mouth was literally salivating as I though about being able to play these games anywhere and anytime on my iOS device.

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This was posted on April Fool's day

Surely by now everyone who reads TouchArcade should be familiar with lite versions of apps. Love 'em or hate 'em, until the advent of in-app purchase an entirely separate version of a game was the only way developers had to allow users to try their (often limited or restricted in some way) apps for free. With the release of iOS 3.0 developers now have the ability to use IAP as a means of offering a single app which is then paid for via an "unlock" of sorts. However, lite versions still remain remarkably prevalent.

We don't normally review lite versions of games, but this one is so confusing that I felt that it needed to be highlighted. Split Rail, developers of the game Face Mirror [Free] recently released Flash Lite 4 [99¢], apparently the lite version of Flash 4 which we're thinking is a yet to be released game based on the Fantastic 4, or possibly even the comic book character The Flash. Releasing a lite version before the full paid version of a game isn't unheard of, as Team Phobic did it with great success with Bounce On 2 [$3.99 / Lite].

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This was posted on April Fool's day

I've loved Taito since I was a child. And regular readers who have some idea how long I've been gaming likely know why. They created Space Invaders, perhaps the first video game I ever played and one of the most iconic games in history. I played it in the arcade not long after its 1978 release and it was first on my list of must-haves when I got my Atari VCS so long ago. I even got the tattoo!

Over the years we've seen a few official sequels emerge on various platforms. There were the enhanced SNES and Playstation ports. Also Space Invaders Extreme for the DS and PSP. Not to mention Space Invaders Get Even for the Wii and Space Invaders Infinity Gene [App Store] for iOS.

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This was posted on April Fool's day

Originally released in Japan in summer of 1997, fellow North Americans would have to wait another half a year to get their hands on Final Fantasy Tactics, which is still regarded by many to be one of the best turn-based strategy games available. The game opens with a curious almost How I Met Your Mother story telling session where a historian tells you a tale of the past regarding the world of Ivalice, warriors, swords, swords, and stones. It's a little cliche by today's standards, it was just as amazing as all of Square's other RPG's when it was originally released.

Next, you're guided through a somewhat unconventional character creation process where you create your hero and choose a birthdate. It isn't immediately apparent, but the zodiac symbol that corresponds with that birthday actually plays a massive role in the game. (Arguably too massive.) Practically every action you take in battle can be either strengthened or weakened by what amounts to a game of zodiac game of rock paper scissors running in the background as some enemies are weak or strong to attacks that align with a certain sign.

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This was posted on April Fool's day

With the nearly half a million apps on the App Store and a signal to noise ratio on par with a set of walky talkies purchased from a dollar store, instead of spending our time looking for games you'd actually want to spend your time playing, here are ten you should avoid at all costs:

10. Name That Fart, 99¢ - While the thought of fart-centric trivia may be appealing, not even the crisp Retina Display graphics makes this game worth considering. Gameplay consists of a ten question multiple choice quiz where you've got to identify signature farts such as the "lingerer" the "blupper" or even the "flutter blast." Upon completion of the quiz your score is displayed which sadly isn't uploaded to any kind of online leaderboard. We're hopeful for Game Center integration in future updates, but for now Name That Fart is safe to skip.

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This was posted on April Fool's day

Back in January, Handbook Inc. released an iPhone title that has hovered near the top of my list, but that I hadn't written up, wanting to afford it the proper amount of time for a focused review. I've finally managed to clear out a few days, however, and can at long last share my thoughts on Nude Girl and Witch [App Store].

Once upon a time, there was a strong empire, where a group of beautiful princesses lived happy life.

one day,however,with an ugly witch sneaking into the empire house, everything changed......

Handbook Inc, who also brought us Naked Girl Encircled [link], Super Girl vs Bat [link], and Hot Girl Zombies Crisis [link], in releasing Nude Girl and Witch has attempted to take the find-the-ball game mechanic to the next level. It was a bold move on their part -- and I believe Nude Girl and Witch may not be the first take on this formula in the App Store. But, the question is: did they succeed?

Let's take a look.

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This was posted on April Fool's day

We're back again turning the valve of the ol' rumour spigot to quench our undying thirst for all things secret. This week we've got an overflowing goblet of rumors straight from our most trusted industry insiders planted deep inside the world of iOS. Our first rumour comes courtesy of an unexpected agent we randomly found working the front lines of Apple retail at the Apple Store Friendly Center in Greensboro, NC. While casually wandering around the Apple Store looking to buy an iPod nano, we were approached and asked if we needed any help.

Naturally, we spotted our opening and went in for the kill, juicing the agent for every drop of rumour imaginable. When interrogated regarding the upcoming iPhone, we learned that Apple does in fact release new iPhones every year, confirming our suspicions that an iPhone 5 is in the works. Also, while we were unable to delve in to raw specifics, we confirmed that the device will likely be faster, potentially get better battery life, and even might have additional storage.

In other rumours, we've received direct confirmation from a Gameloft beta tester that the French mobile gaming giant plans to release additional iOS titles. Digging for more specifics we've learned that these future titles spread the gamut of first person shooters, third person action games, and even racing games. When pressed for further details we discovered that these games will not only include Gameloft Live, but also will be controlled using a variety of on-screen controls and even tilt.

Stay tuned for additional rumors.