The recorded story of modern man has been divided in to chapters of historical significance, with events and accomplishments that every person alive today is taught about in grade school. The ancient Egyptians constructing of the pyramids, Alexander Flemming discovering penicillin, Neil Armstrong setting foot on the moon first, and now, Madgarden releasing Hodappy Bird [Free] on the App Store. A new age of iOS gaming is upon us, and nothing will ever be the same.

Launching the game for the first time brings you to an Apple-mandated warning screen emphasizing that the bitcoins used inside of Hodappy Bird are not real. Remember this before proceeding. With a simple tap of the screen, you're off Hodapping away. The goal of the game is to tap to maintain altitude while seeing how many pipes you can fly through without hitting a pipe. This innovative gameplay mechanic will truly test your might as an iOS gamer, as there's no room for error.

While playing, you will earn fake bitcoins, which spawn after every 25th pipe you fly through. If you can't make it all the way through 25 in a row, that's fine, Hodappy Bird doesn't care. Those 25 can be spread across multiple sessions. Alternatively, you can earn fake bitcoins by watching Vungle ads for a variety of exciting iOS games like Clash of Clans [Free], Game of War - Fire Age [Free] and many others.

You can then use these fake bitcoins for legitimate pay to win mechanics. If the game is too difficult for you, you can straight up pay three bitcoins to continue playing right where you died, keeping your score rolling with you. Additionally, if you get bored of watching the same old Hodappy Bird flying around, you can re-roll your appearance with a variety of hats and glasses.

If you fancy yourself more of a hardcore gamer, and the idea of pay to win mechanics angers you to your core, Super Hodappy Bird 64 mode is for you. Designed for play while wearing GUNNAR Optiks, this ultra-advanced professional gamer mode features no continues, separate leaderboards, and a shifted color palette.

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Multiple game modes, brutal difficulty, incredible pixel art, totally unique gameplay, and intense levels of customization makes Hodappy Bird an undeniable classic. Taking all of this in to account, we've awarded the game our highest and most coveted rating ever: 20 golden nuggets.

TouchArcade Rating

                    Chicken_McNuggets


Eli Note: Before anyone gets mad at me, of course this isn't a real review. The entire point of Hodappy Bird is to just be silly as it's been a running joke on the podcast and on our Twitch streams forever. For more information, see the animated .gif-laden forum thread or the behind the scenes post over at Cult of Mac. Seriously though, it's free, and Madgarden did a hell of a good job making yet another Flappy game. Check it out if you want.

  • Rocketcat Games

    20 nuggz? ive never been so pissed off before this is a 18 NGZ game at best what the hell your shills I cant believe this crap nice one Eli thanks a lot Obama

    • MrAlbum

      Sheesh. I don't know how to respond. All the scattered insults and criticisms blend together so well that the end result is nigh-on incomprehensible. I can tell that this post was made in some kind of upset mindset, but I can't tell what exactly triggered the reaction from the content of the post itself.

      Bravo good poster: you have found a way to troll such that the most likely response from unwary fools is "WTF?!?!?!" I am one such fool, and I golf-clap your verbal opacity.

      • thiagovscoelho

        psst it was sarcasm

      • Design by Adrian

        *whoosh*

      • Bradb13

        It was sarcasm, incase you didn't notice.......

    • lavenders2

      As it turns out, this new era of iOS gaming is actually the nugget era.

  • Holcman

    I gave this game 6 stars on the App Store!

  • https://www.youtube.com/HansKaosu HansKaosu

    Mmmhh.. nuggets..

  • Hiraether

    When this fad is over reviews like this will sound even stupider than they actually are.. It's not anything new.. And those historical epochs are ethnocentric at best. I give this review 1 star. Stop trying so hard. This is not a new genre ffs.

    • Hiraether

      Thank &:);$(/! You were being sarcastic. Still pissed me off. Ty. Not funny. You guys are losing credibility.

    • thiagovscoelho

      You may have flapped, but have you Hodapped? Examine the title, it may brig confusion

    • Bradb13

      This review was amazing....

  • Kane

    It's fun knocking them specs off Eli's face. Not the real one, don't get mad.

  • vicsark

    I love that everybody stayed fully committed to the humble road with Hodappy Bird lol :D

    29 for me on the iPad, way easier than on the iPhone, I even beat a podcast member for now ;)

  • coolpepper43

    Awesome game but I cannot figure out how to extract the bit coins. Your game completely changed my life! I just quit my job and now I will work at home playing Hodappy Bird because I have already mined enough bitcoins since the game was released to pay for 8 months rent. Thank you Hodappy Bird!!!

    • YouGotHeadshot

      HAHAHAHAHA

    • coolpepper43

      Update...:(
      Oh man... This is really bad... I didn't know that the bitcoins are not real. I took a poop on the bosses car right after I told him that I quit and told him to F off. I need suggestions ASAP on how to get my old job back. Soon I am going to lose my home. Thank you Hodappy Bird!!!

      • Pray For Death

        In order to extract the bit coins, you need to fly through 100 pipes in a single session. I know it may sound too difficult, and it will probably take you many hours to get there, but it's definitely worth it.

        p.s: posting this from a boat I just purchased using bitcoins, thanks to Hodappy Bird

  • Disfuq

    ugh, hodapp wants to ride along the flappy train by abusing his chief editor position and posting a silly "joke" app. this is as bad as a flappy miley cyrus. I'm going to write a script that launches random AWS EC2 instances and click fraud this site. enjoy finding new affiliates

  • thiagovscoelho

    psst that was also sarcasm

    • dariusjr98

      XD lmao, Album just can't win today!

  • Rooie1154

    Only 20 nuggets? I'm not wasting my free money on a game that's only rated 20 nuggets. I work hard for my non-required money and will only not-spend it on games worth 25 nuggets or more.

  • thiagovscoelho

    Eli, do you find that you can relate to the main character?

  • falco

    You never reviewed Flappy bird but you do review Hodappy bird congrats !!!

  • Eoghann

    Easy to learn, hard to master! Polished graphics!

  • Sickofit1928

    Fantastic review. I agree with everything completely

    • witedahlia

      Me too!!

  • SwithNova

    Wow did he just new era in iOS gaming I think I just gagged

  • blackhawkn11

    THIS IS EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED. THANK YOU. MY LIFE IS COMPLETE. DELETING EVERYTHING ELSE OFF MY IPAD AS WE SPEAK.
    No really though, love it.

  • Stormourner

    oh LOL!!! I like the rating X'D

  • rewind

    I absolutely think it's great that Eli went ahead with Hodappy Bird, and I'm disgusted by the small-minded people here who have no sense of humor...

    Good job and I think the game is hilarious.

  • Honky Lips

    This game has more dismembered heads than Robocop!

  • Nothin99

    The future is now!

  • putermcgee

    20 nuggets, and no dipping sauce? Greedy devs.

  • H4nd0fg0d

    Lame, and tht wasn't sarcasm. Sorry, but no.

  • coolpepper43

    Lol, could you imagine if that actually did happen!? :D

  • bunksteve

    Let me tell you a true story about Hodappy Bird. It involves a very special little boy named Evan.

    Special like... you know... an angel... not shortbus special.

    Anyway, Evan was born without the use of either legs due to an accident at the time of his birth. Evan was born during the huge Salt N' Peppa resurgence of 2007. Nobody really saw it coming, let alone Salt N' Peppa, but for a short period there, America was once again swept up in "Shooping" and Spinderella and, due to a mixture of stupidity and confusion, a number of En Vogue songs also became popular again.

    What this all lead to.... When the nurse said "Push it!", the doctor started to excitedly pump his arms and thrust at the air, screaming "Push it REAL good!" around the same time Evan's mother gave her final push... and sadly, Evan fell on the ground and broke his coccyx. Forever.

    Physical therapy was tough. The days spent in bed, staring out the window. Watching other kids laughing, playing, eating ice cream, running around with their perfectly functioning coccyxeseses bones. Evan didn't want to hate them, so instead he hated everything else. Nothing got through to him. Nothing seemed to make him happy.

    Then one day, his Uncle Barnabas came to visit. He tried his best to spark up a conversation with Evan, but to no avail. Frustrated, he decided his time was better spent fiddling around with his electronic device. After a moment, curiosity (And annoyance at being ignored) got the best of Evan and he asked Barnabas what he was playing. Barnabas replied with nine words.

    "Oh, just a little game called 'Hodappy Bird'". The ninth word was the n-word. Not because he was racist, but because he had Tourettes. Really racist Tourettes.

    Evan began playing the game. Day and night. Night and day. Afternoon and whatever time it is that Taco Bell advertises that they are still available to provide you with all the diarrhea you need. And something began to change in Evan. At first it was almost imperceptible twitch of the toe. Then a whole foot rotated around the ankle. After a week, Evan was kicking his left leg against his night stand, muttering under his breath "Come onnnn, you motherfucker!" as he feverishly tried to unlock that green hat. You know.... The green one..... You know the one. Shh.

    After two months, I'm proud to say Evan made a full recovery of both of his legs. Then went and kicked the asses of all the kids who were outside having fun and unknowingly mocking him. Even managed to cripple a couple. Ironic, huh?

    I'm not saying Hodappy Bird will change your life. I'm not saying it will cure your diseased or crippled child. And I'm definitely not saying any of this in Norwegian because that language is IMPOSSIBLE to nail down. It's like the worst parts of German and Spanish had unprotected sex and made a hepatitis baby. Ugh.

    What I am saying is... If you let Hodappy Bird into your heart, it might just change your life. Wait... I just said I wasn't saying that. Umm....

    SAN DIMAS HIGHSCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!

    Post Note: Evan was hit by a bus three weeks later and killed instantly. Which is probably for the best. Any kid willing to cripple a few other kids... well... let's just say if Ted Bundy got hit by a bus, the world would have been a happier place. We just wouldn't have known it.

    • coolpepper43

      I was going to say that was the best post I have ever seen but then you had to put a bunch of really offensive things in your story. For one, swearing verbal Tourette's Syndrome called Coprolalia is a rare form of Tourette's that less than 10% of people diagnosed with this Syndrome have it. People with Tourette's mostly have physical tics and not what you see on tv or movies.

      • bunksteve

        Sorry if I offended you, but you should know that I'm kinda laughing right now over you taking any part of what I just posted seriously. If it'll help, I'll have him say the n-word in sign language instead. That way it's more tic-y.

      • coolpepper43

        I know your not serious with your post. I am almost always sarcastic and almost never serious but I think you may have crossed a line.

      • coolpepper43

        Also for your character to use sign language who is not deaf doesn't even make sense. But that may be your point?

      • Torque2k

        Sorry, but he gets a pass/full pardon just for including the Bill & Ted reference. And the Norwegian bit. Classic.

    • NinjaKitteh

      Great post! Had tears rolling I laughed so hard. Honestly if anyone took offense it's not your post, but most likely the sand stuck in their vaginas. Good times!

      • coolpepper43

        It's not really a vagina it's more like a frontside anus. Being born with two buttholes is a curse. Most of my income is spent on toilet paper and it's hard as hell to take a crap from both ends at once.

  • Bliquid

    It's obvious the developer paid fake money for this review.
    But seriuosly, it still saddens me that you had to add that footnote.
    One would think the spirit of the review, as well as that of the game itself, should be rather obvious.
    Internet these days.

    • Zerol3onheart

      See: All of Mr. albums replies. He's either the worlds most cunning troll, or the most bored, talentless, overly critical, fun hating individual ever to live. Or a ghost. I don't know.

      • coolpepper43

        The latter, he was Bruce Willis the entire time.

      • Zerol3onheart

        Directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

  • Cookies

    I was expecting the first ever 6/5 game review.

  • Adams Immersive

    From the creators of FlapThulhu - the only flappy game I need!

  • Ahmed90

    It's a fun game but the real disappointment is the lack of soundtrack that I was expecting from Madgarden - seeing how good it was in FlapThulu. Maybe that could be added later?

  • Design by Adrian

    This game has so many unique elements you would wonder how someone could POSSIBLY innovate after this! Everything that could be invented has already been invented - with Hodappi Bird!