If you weren't around for the great Enviro-Bear 2010 [99¢] fiasco of, well, 2009, here's what you missed- Imagine you're a bear, driving a car, and you have five minutes to fatten yourself up as much as possible before finally driving your car in to your bear cave. The ridiculousness of the game's premise was matched only by the terrible controls and even worse pixel art which in our review we dubbed the best bear driving simulator on the App Store. (A worthy title.) I invoke the unholy name of Enviro-Bear because it's from those same fiery depths of hell that So Long, Oregon! [$1.99] was forged in.

So Long, Oregon! is "A fun new game about American history" according to the developers, where you pilot (I say pilot because you spend most of the game airborne) a Conestoga wagon from Independence, Missouri to El Dorado-- The legendary city of gold. Much like the original Oregon Trail, you'll need to cross rivers, travel the countryside, murder swaths of helpless animals, become afflicted with various diseases, and lose your loved ones in the process of searching for said ancient gold.

Unlike the the original Oregon Trail, you don't make it to El Dorado through intense simulation, ration management, profession selection, caulking and/or floating the wagon across rivers, or anything else. Instead you just hold down the left arrow and go flipping over hills, and tapping the screen to let out a barrage of bullets to kill anything in your path to then collect its meat for your food stores. The hills and mountains are tall, and will often send you flipping end to end or just flat out landing upside down forcing you to wait until your wagon rights itself.

Along the way you'll find various settlements such as indian camps that give you food, disease, or flat out curse your wagon. There are also trading posts that you can trade for food, bullets, or sometimes even see a doctor. There are other surprises along the trail, but I won't spoil them.

The novelty value of So Long, Oregon! is out of this world, especially if you have fond memories of the original Oregon Trail. But, much like Enviro-Bear 2010, both the controls and gameplay seem to be intentionally bad so if you're looking for something serious So Long, Oregon! is not what you need. If you do like these kinds of silly games, there's a lot to love about So Long, Oregon! such as multiple ridiculous game modes with tons of wagons to race, tons of animals to shoot, a case of the super-measles to deal with, and others. There's also all kinds of Open Feint achievements and online leaderboards.

The windows version of the game can be downloaded for free and likely will provide more So Long, Oregon! than one person would ever need in their life. If you need more, download the iOS version which also happens to be universal and is equally weird regardless of which device you're playing it on.

TouchArcade Rating

  • B34$T

    The controls aren't terrible by any means. Touch any where to shoot there, left and right arrows control direction you move and the direction of tilt while in air.

    Also it really isn't as much a novelty app as envirobear. It has real gameplay and overcoming the physics of the hills is incredibly fun.

    • Wegmans

      I love this game. It's perfect and so recognizable and an easy any kind of moment during the day game

  • B34$T

    The controls aren't terrible by any means. Touch any where to shoot there, left and right arrows control direction you move and the direction of tilt while in air.

    Also it really isn't as much a novelty app as envirobear. It has real gameplay and overcoming the physics of the hills is incredibly fun.

    • Wegmans

      I love this game. It's perfect and so recognizable and an easy any kind of moment during the day game

  • ecco6t9

    I've always played Oregon Trail like this...

  • ecco6t9

    I've always played Oregon Trail like this...

  • JCat

    The gun shots sound effects remind me of Defender or Robotron.... I have to get this... loving that my iPad-Phone4 has become the units of choice for retro style games for the current gen. A lot of older console owners who grew up in the 80's complained when most 2D went 3D - but now we are getting our fix from our i-devices (I know the Gears of War and Halo folk are stabbing their eyes right now reading this).

  • JCat

    The gun shots sound effects remind me of Defender or Robotron.... I have to get this... loving that my iPad-Phone4 has become the units of choice for retro style games for the current gen. A lot of older console owners who grew up in the 80's complained when most 2D went 3D - but now we are getting our fix from our i-devices (I know the Gears of War and Halo folk are stabbing their eyes right now reading this).

  • mardas pye

    " The ridiculousness of the game's premise was matched only by the terrible controls and even worse pixel"

    Didn't need to read any further. I don't play games because they 'ironic' or whatever the justification is.

    • HerpDerp

      Maybe some day you will get a since of humor :( Or any human emotions at all.

      • mardas pye

        I have a great sense of humor. This doesn't look funny at all.

        Your human emotions line is just wacky, you say this because some doesn't like a certain game? Are you 4 years old? If so it may explain why you like this game I suppose.

    • B34$T

      It isn't a bad game at all. This is just a bad review IMO. Reading the review it looks like Hodapp didn't even know how to play it. This actually is not like EnviroBear with bad controls and gameplay but instead hard to master physics and rewarding gameplay.

      It really is a fun game and playing the pc version does no justice to the iphone version.

      • Eli Hodapp

        I agree the game is a lot of fun but I don't know how you could call the controls good at all.

      • B34$T

        The left and right to move and control which way the wagon(or car) tilts in midair is easy. Just hard too master the physics.

        The way you describes it in the review it seemed that you only used the left arrow the whole time in which it would suck to play. Unless you feel controls suck for another reason.

      • http://matt-rix.com Matt Rix

        I agree with Beast that the controls are fine, it's the physics that makes things tough (but really not that tough). I think it actually takes a lot of skill to hold the left arrow the whole time you're on a hill, release it the moment you fly into the air, and then use both arrows to balance the wagon and land flat.

        The game really isn't that hard, I think I got to El Dorado on my second try, and then El Dorado and back on my third try. Once you go to El Dorado and back, you can actually bet on the menu items(!?) using the gold. I thought that was a pretty sweet easter egg.

    • http://matt-rix.com Matt Rix

      Um. You know that quote was about Enviro Bear, not this game, right? This game is a real, playable game, with decent controls and some neat gameplay mechanics. Well worth playing.

      The "Historic Oregon Trail" mode is pure awesome, it's a race between you and 20 other wagons.

  • mardas pye

    " The ridiculousness of the game's premise was matched only by the terrible controls and even worse pixel"

    Didn't need to read any further. I don't play games because they 'ironic' or whatever the justification is.

    • HerpDerp

      Maybe some day you will get a since of humor :( Or any human emotions at all.

      • mardas pye

        I have a great sense of humor. This doesn't look funny at all.

        Your human emotions line is just wacky, you say this because some doesn't like a certain game? Are you 4 years old? If so it may explain why you like this game I suppose.

    • B34$T

      It isn't a bad game at all. This is just a bad review IMO. Reading the review it looks like Hodapp didn't even know how to play it. This actually is not like EnviroBear with bad controls and gameplay but instead hard to master physics and rewarding gameplay.

      It really is a fun game and playing the pc version does no justice to the iphone version.

      • Eli Hodapp

        I agree the game is a lot of fun but I don't know how you could call the controls good at all.

      • B34$T

        The left and right to move and control which way the wagon(or car) tilts in midair is easy. Just hard too master the physics.

        The way you describes it in the review it seemed that you only used the left arrow the whole time in which it would suck to play. Unless you feel controls suck for another reason.

      • http://matt-rix.com Matt Rix

        I agree with Beast that the controls are fine, it's the physics that makes things tough (but really not that tough). I think it actually takes a lot of skill to hold the left arrow the whole time you're on a hill, release it the moment you fly into the air, and then use both arrows to balance the wagon and land flat.

        The game really isn't that hard, I think I got to El Dorado on my second try, and then El Dorado and back on my third try. Once you go to El Dorado and back, you can actually bet on the menu items(!?) using the gold. I thought that was a pretty sweet easter egg.

    • http://matt-rix.com Matt Rix

      Um. You know that quote was about Enviro Bear, not this game, right? This game is a real, playable game, with decent controls and some neat gameplay mechanics. Well worth playing.

      The "Historic Oregon Trail" mode is pure awesome, it's a race between you and 20 other wagons.

  • mardas pye

    I don't think the reviewer knows whether they like it or not.

    They write 'masterpiece' in the title, but then in the actual review pretty much say it sucks.

    • Wabaam

      Cool story bro.

    • Birthday Boy

      If you read the entire review it's obvious the word masterpiece was being used in sarcasm.

      • mardas pye

        That would mean it should have quotes around it, or be in italics.

      • Birthday Boy

        Sorry, but a grammatically correct/universally accepted way to convey sarcasm does not exist friend. Maybe on teh interwebs qoutes or italics work, but it is not necessary in professional writing. Honestly, indicating sarcasm is along the lines of using a sitcom laughtrack. But some people just need to be told when to laugh I guess. On that note, this game totally "sucks."

  • mardas pye

    I don't think the reviewer knows whether they like it or not.

    They write 'masterpiece' in the title, but then in the actual review pretty much say it sucks.

    • Wabaam

      Cool story bro.

    • Birthday Boy

      If you read the entire review it's obvious the word masterpiece was being used in sarcasm.

      • mardas pye

        That would mean it should have quotes around it, or be in italics.

      • Birthday Boy

        Sorry, but a grammatically correct/universally accepted way to convey sarcasm does not exist friend. Maybe on teh interwebs qoutes or italics work, but it is not necessary in professional writing. Honestly, indicating sarcasm is along the lines of using a sitcom laughtrack. But some people just need to be told when to laugh I guess. On that note, this game totally "sucks."

  • segaprophet

    instant buy, kthxbye.

  • segaprophet

    instant buy, kthxbye.

  • Big Albie

    I think on occasion Eli likes to test his degree of influence on the iPhone gaming public by hyping mediocre or below average games to see if he can jack up sales. Humor aside, this doesn't deserve front page coverage.

    • Jared Nelson

      I would say being the follow up release from the dev of one of the most popular and talked about games from last year qualifies it for front page coverage, whether you or anybody else thinks it's a good game or not.

      I happen to think it's an incredibly fun and unique game to boot.

    • David R

      I agree with that. I have been burned by some of the reviews posted here in the past and then later I realized that I have never seen a bad review in here. At most you will see something like "this is a must buy if you like this specific type of gameplay."

      So I no longer pay attention to the reviews. I skip directly to the video or the forum to help me make my own decision.

    • GTH

      "Humor aside?" It's pretty damn clear in the review that the point of this game is to be funny, and in that it succeeds. If that doesn't appeal to you, move the hell on, don't whine about how this site isn't catering to your humorless ass.

      Perhaps you don't have that kind of sense of humor, and humor is subjective so there's no , but there's room. You don't have to like, or buy, every game featured on the front page.

      • Big Albie

        As I've said before, if you can't make a point without a certain level of civility, it points to a poor upbringing and at the least, a sign of immaturity. Again, it just was my opinion.

      • Big Albie

        Wow, your lack of civility is pretty telling.

  • Big Albie

    I think on occasion Eli likes to test his degree of influence on the iPhone gaming public by hyping mediocre or below average games to see if he can jack up sales. Humor aside, this doesn't deserve front page coverage.

    • Jared Nelson

      I would say being the follow up release from the dev of one of the most popular and talked about games from last year qualifies it for front page coverage, whether you or anybody else thinks it's a good game or not.

      I happen to think it's an incredibly fun and unique game to boot.

    • David R

      I agree with that. I have been burned by some of the reviews posted here in the past and then later I realized that I have never seen a bad review in here. At most you will see something like "this is a must buy if you like this specific type of gameplay."

      So I no longer pay attention to the reviews. I skip directly to the video or the forum to help me make my own decision.

    • GTH

      "Humor aside?" It's pretty damn clear in the review that the point of this game is to be funny, and in that it succeeds. If that doesn't appeal to you, move the hell on, don't whine about how this site isn't catering to your humorless ass.

      Perhaps you don't have that kind of sense of humor, and humor is subjective so there's no , but there's room. You don't have to like, or buy, every game featured on the front page.

      • Big Albie

        As I've said before, if you can't make a point without a certain level of civility, it points to a poor upbringing and at the least, a sign of immaturity. Again, it just was my opinion.

      • Big Albie

        Wow, your lack of civility is pretty telling.

  • biskup

    instabuy

  • biskup

    instabuy

  • Anonymous

    HerpDerp was spot on. Your lack of understanding for even the most basic humor is baffling.

    • Anonymous

      this was meant to be a reply to mardas pye obviously.

    • Anonymous

      Haha, good point.

  • Anonymous

    HerpDerp was spot on. Your lack of understanding for even the most basic humor is baffling.

    • Anonymous

      this was meant to be a reply to mardas pye obviously.

    • Anonymous

      Haha, good point.

  • Panic Blitz

    Unfortunately, it looks like OpenFeint is breaking this game right now. Hopefully they fix it soon.

  • Panic Blitz

    Unfortunately, it looks like OpenFeint is breaking this game right now. Hopefully they fix it soon.